Maybe it's the heat...

Or the paint fumes?

After painting my bakers rack with my dad outside in 95 degree heat, maybe I'm hallucinating. Maybe I just wish I was. I'm pretty sure it's the second.

Somehow I knew - I think that's why I never asked. Optimism is one of my strong-suits, but also a downfall at times. Then again, maybe it means nothing (there I go, being all delusional and hopeful again). I guess time will tell, but I think maybe I should give up on this one... it has, after all, been how many years?

I'm a magnet for unavailable men - either literally, emotionally or both. And, as I've said before, I'm a chicken shit.

Maybe September will be different. Probably not. I want to move to the next level in my life. I think I'm ready for that, but obviously someone else doesn't. *looks up* le sigh.

A lesson learned years ago is something I'm trying to remind myself of and strive for: "Patience is a virtue to be practiced in our homes and daily lives, and we must strive to set examples for our companions."

What a day...

I woke up at 9:00 on the dot this morning. I chugged some water con 4 Motrin, made myself a chocolate soy smoothie (plus frozen raspberries) and realized that I'd only slept five hours. So I promptly returned to a state of slumber. Woke up again at 1:08. ONE-O-EIGHT! Ho-ly. Apparently I was sleepy. It was worth it, though. Hanging out with Kelly and the guys was a blasty-blast. Ran into a few people that I hadn't seen, litterally in YEARS, who oddly enough, ended up knowing each other. Ended up closing down the bar and helping load gear and merch into the trailer - pretty much par for the course when the guys aren't staying in town. Favorite moments of the night:

• Chatting with a girl who had been at the same BBQ in Yakima 3 years ago and hearing that the shetland-pony-sized Great Dane was still alive and well.
  
• Discussing the effects of hot weather on my hairstyle with Chris, who is growing his curly hair out. Things to look forward to, my friend.
• It was nice to hear, "OMG, [MCP]!!! I saw you in the paper! I love you!"
• The Manager walking up to Kelly with the band's money and saying, "You look like the responsible one." To which he answered, "Yes. Thank you for not giving this to Calvin!"
  
• Being able to say, "I'm with the band" and it's not a joke, but still funny.
  
• Kelly walking me to my car and joking about random things and walking through an impromptu acoustic performance of Mr. Big's "To Be With You" by some random people on the corner.
  

Back to today... I decided since I'd slept half of it away, I'd better make it productive. I cleaned my kitchen (dishes and fridge), laundry (4 loads and counting) and vacuumed, all while watching chick flicks on the various HBOs. Started with "Mama Mia", then "The Wedding Planner", "Where the Heart Is" and finally, "Sex and the City." That's a pretty impressive list for Eddie and I to cuddle through while procrastinating going to the store for foods in 106F weather. I also saved myself $15 and gave myself a pedicure. It's the first time I have had naked (aka non-painted) toe nails in... well, I don't remember when the last time was.

Eventually, once it was pretty clear that no plans would be made for the evening, I did get the energy up to head to Walmart. Something dawned on me while changing my clothes - You're never under-dressed for Walmart (save for nudity). Got everything I needed (and a few things I didn't) and headed to the self-check out and found a short line. EPIC FAIL - they had to re-start the computer when I already had my whole cart emptied onto the belt. There was a little girl roaming around he self check out area opening the doors to the soda fridges and rearranging the drinks - apparently she's not a big fan of segregation.

Got home and realized after carrying all of my bags up at once (I live on the 3rd floor - no elevator) that I had just climbed 3 flights of stairs with the equivalent weight of a skinny girl looped around my arms. I made some dinner after putting all of my goodies away, watched "Lewis Black: Black on Broadway" (HIGHLY recommended!) and now am trying to decide if I want to put on a sweatshirt and stay out her ein the living room and watch SNL or a movie.... OR if I want to do that from my nice, warm bed. Decisions, decisions.

I love days like this - getting things done, while feeling like I'm doing nothing.