Draft Day number one...

What? It was draft day? Couldn't tell it by me - since yet again, the Sharks had no first round pick. As a matter of fact, they don't pick until round 3 tomorrow. Therefore, when the minor league baseball team asked if I would be willing to sing the national anthems for the game against the Vancouver Canadians on the first night of the draft, I gladly obliged.

Let's start the day - I headed out to Ma and Pa's place where Ma and I colored my hair and watched the 20/20 specials on both Farrah Faucet and Michael Jackson. Both were great programs and I'm not gonna lie, I squirted a few tears at points in each of them. Two very talented and charismatic people lost in one day. Wow. Still kind of wierded out and shocked by MJ's death.

After finishing up there, I came home and practiced a few tricky spots in a few songs for "Godspell". I love being an Alto, but sometimes I think it might be nice to have the high note - so much easier to hear!

Met up with Mizzle for a little snack and some shopping as well as planning a bit for the show. I'm so stoked not only to be doing this show, but to be doing it with her as my director. I love spending time with her - we might as well be sisters, we're practically the same person!

Hammer got to town as Mizzle and I finished up some costume shopping and we headed to the baseball game. We had some CHOICE tweets... you can head to twitter.com/mcphizzle to check it out.

Highlights:

• Hammer's comment, "Does he know he's gay?"
• The fact that she's again a traitorous whore - but it's a little better this time because now she's a "Dirty Canadian Lover"
  
• The girl in the SnoCone (aka SnoPenis) who was very reminiscent of the SnoPenis worker from 2007-2009 Ams Camp, (in to her cell phone) "Just a minute, I need to put their flavors on."
• Yelling, "UGLY BATTER!" works just as well as "UGLY GOALIE!" when yelled at a crucial point in the game.
  

After the game, we drove through Sonic mostly to feed my face with some delicious tots and Cherry Limeade, a little to avoid the traffic. We took the short drive down here to the land of Hammer and now I'm firmly planted on her couch. Tomorrow morning we'll get up and decorate and finish stuff up for the Canada Day Festivities and then party like we just invented the Canad-Arm!

AAAND on a happier note...

After chatting with Hammer a bit tonight, I feel much better about cracking under the pressure of Fred the GD Tumor tonight. Especially after realizing that even Cindy Crosby the Human cracks from time to time... even though, as Hammer pointed out, he copes by extreme amounts of exercise and i cope by eating too much teriyaki and drinking copious amounts of splenda-sweetened iced tea.

Without further ado, I give you the "Quotes of the Night" from the 2nd Annual Maple Leaf Mafia Canada Day Celebration.

Quotes from the NHL Monopoly pre-party:

"It's the Ryan Getzlaf House of Hairy Teeth and Balding" - Hammer re: Anaheim

"He looks like Bob the Builder!" - McP
"I fucking love it." - Hammer
re: Drayson Bowman in the Yellow Hard Hat

"It's the no juice juice." - Hammer re: KoolAid

"No one else likes playing Monopoly because they're sucky suckholes." - Hammer

Quotes from the Party:

"Put that wang away!" - SlutBucket

"Guess we're going to Dairy Queen." - SlutBucket re: Hammer forgetting about the grill

"I took her under my stinky armpit years ago." - Hammer re: Glitter being one of her former students.

"We almost had to stay in the Dalles!" - The Lumberjack on the commute from Portland to the party

"Did you take the wrapper off?" - everyone
"Ok, it's officially funny." - VonHammer re:Canadian Pride tattoos.

"WHO SHIT?!?!?!" - Hammer Re: Pims and Jake leaving presents upstairs

"Fuck off with the CanadArm!" - Hammer during the Great Canadian Board Game

"We didn't even have alcohol at that party. It was just funny!" - Hammer re: 'it rhymes with muffalo!"

"Two words, it rhymes with Paint Johns." - Hammer

"Fuck off! ... neh... I don't owe you anything!" - VonHammer re: helping the Lunberjack win the game

"My favorite people are here with no underware." - Hammer re: the dogs and McP

"Schon of a Bitcsch." - Hammer & McP doing their best Bryan Murray

"WHO shit in my kitchen!?" - Hammer

"PIMS! That's MY snow cone! Now it has dog slobber in it! You're lucky I'm drunk and don't care!" - Hammer

"Did you have a nice shit on my floor?" - Hammer to the dogs

"I'm not sure..." - SlutBucket
"Oh come on, it's the internet, what could go wrong?!" - Hammer

Coming out of the dark...

As the immortal Gloria Estefan, I am returning from a hiatus. The flying monkeys and I have had quite the spring. I started a new day-job... one that doesn't allow me hours upon hours for mindless searching on the intermanet and time to ponder and blog it. But it does pay really well.

People have been clamoring for my thoughts on a few things:

McP, your thoughts on the Spokane Chiefs Captain Chris Bruton drops the Memorial Cup?
Since the Ams were the last team to beat the Chiefs this year and they are the Highway 395 rivals, I do admit, I jumped up and down while watching it happen on YouTube with McMan at the lake. How embarrassing to have the whole arena booing you for a hardware malfunction! But they deserved the cup - they were determined and worked as a team throughout the playoffs.

How much did you love the touring company of RENT?
Oh holy night... For real, people, the flying monkeys had to carry me out to the car after the show. I can neither confirm nor deny that I wore my "Measure in Love" t-shirt with my character name of "Maureen" on the back. I can, however, confirm that 'Mark', 'Roger', 'Mimi' & 'Maureen' all smiled at me when I was singing at the top of my lungs during the finale. I mean... what?

What about the Red Wings winning the Stanley Cup?
The what? Who? I completely have no idea what you're talking about.
Note from the monkeys: McP is still in a bit of denial, if you couldn't tell.

How's the new Casa McP?
WONDERFUL! I've just got a few things left to get done in the guest bedroom and to get a dining table to be completely happy with everything.

Excited about the Draft?
YES! Especially the goalies... Everything is better with Chetter.

What are your plans for Canada Day?
I'm heading south to the MLM-Milton branch for a WONDERFUL afternoon/evening of NHL monopoly, fun, games, prizes and dairy-free food! YESSSS!!!!

Speaking of the Mafia, any news there?
YES! I'm very proud to say that Hammer has not only been accepted into the wonderful sisterhood of HLOG, but has also been linked frequently by some bigtime bloggers in the blogosphere! YAY for famousness!

Shouldn't you be sleeping?
yeah, considering I'm now usually AT work between 6 and 630 (yes, that's am), I will very shortly be returning to sleepytown.

O'CANADA!!!

(x-posted to Maple Leaf Mafia)

This Lactose-free Canada Day is brought to you in honour of Matty Swaby.

July 1st... The day Canada celebrates their Independance! YAY!

Headed to M.F. for a day of celebrating the Homeland. Hammer had maple cookies ready and a maple leaf flag banner up. We started the afternoon with a rousing game of NHLopoly. I would've won if I hadn't have let Hammer cheat and stay in jail in order to avoid the "ticket prices" in Ottawa with the arena built. She won. Lame. Now I know not to be so congenial.

We tagged my car with red car-chalk. Violette (my vehicle) is still proudly rockin' "CANADA DAY '07" on her back windshield.

The roster ended up beign rather full - The whole female contingent of the Maple Leaf Mafia was there (Hammer, VonHammer, Laces and McPhizzle) along with 3 of Hammer's friends and 1 little nugget named Michael - the little 18-mo.-old cutie that totally stole the show.

We all wore "Canadian leis" (aka red mardi-gras beads that left our necks pink - Mike thought I had gotten sunburned when I got home), and most of us were wearing some combination of red, black and white (we let VonHammer slide with the HNIC shirt). We also put temporary tattoos on our faces. When Laces came in she asked, "Can't I put it on my guns?" Your guns?! No, now you HAVE to put it on your face for asking that way.

Before we ate dinner, the Canadian Anthem was sung reverantly at the picnic table.

the Alberta Beef Tenderloin with Gingered Saskatoon Berry Compote was AMAZING!! As was the potato salad (in honour of PEI's 65 varieties of potaoes, of course... Who knew they had that many?! "Is there enough land to grow that many there?" "Maybe a row of each?" "We found a new variety of potato, eh!" "Well, go plant it next to the other 64, eh!").

After dinner, the fun and games began. We took a Canadian History test... We should've studied. lol. Question #15 was "Which part of the US space shuttle was designed by Canadians?" VonHammer was QUITE excited that she knew the answer and when Hammer was reading the correct answers aloud, she shouted at the top of her lungs, "ROBOTIC ARM!!!!!" which we affectionately re-named the CanadArm.

Somehow the topic of Lester B Pearson (14th Prime Minister of Canada) and how he got the nickname "Mike." Apparently "Lester" didn't sound tough enough, so they picked a new name for him. Odd little tidbit there. Apparently Mike is a tough name.

After the quiz, we started playing the "Great Canadian Adventure" board game that Hammer uses as a Friday treat in the Canadian History course she teaches.

• One of the questions Hammer gave to Laces was, "Who is the Canadian Hockey player who they call The Great One...." we all groaned and rolled our eyes at the easiness, especially since questions to the rest of us were freakin hard...
• When someone landed on a "Heroes" space, VonHammer shouted, "TERRY FOX!!!!" before her sister could even begin to read the question aloud. Hammer's response? "Great, now I have to choose a new one."
• To make up for the ease of Laces' queston, the next question posed to me was "WHo was the first Aboriginal head coach in the NHL... I matched VonHammer's intesity yelling, "TED NOLAN!!!!" (and as always, I added, "he's on LonGisland!")
• Our little nugget got to roll the large, neon pink dice for his mom and dad. He beaned Laces with it once. (a Picture Essay will follow once they are transfered onto my computer from VonHammer's camera)
• Hammer and I started fighting about how the only reason she won the NHLopoly game was b/c I let her cheat... when our voices had raised to their limit and I ran out of little sister things to say, to end the argument I said, "IT'S A GLITCH!" the laughter and thought of Brad and Vinny stopped the arguing at once.
• As the questions got harder, Hammer gave us hints... She's a master of disguising names in hints.... here are a couple examples, "It rhymes with Schmick Schmanson" (Rick Hanson), "It rhymes with Meline Sleon" (Celine Dion) and my personal favourite, "It rhymes with Muffalo." (Buffalo)

When we'd been sufficently munched on by the mosquitos, we went inside for a little chatting and so Laces and The Nugget could play a little pick-up game of carpet hockey with the pink hockey sticks I picked up at Target in the Holiest of places, the Dollar Spot. Laces' comment about her opponent, "We're about the same height, so it's ok."

While the game was going on, the father of the Nugget gave us his opinion of hockey, "They serve beer and get in fights. Its a good game."

When he finished telling us about a game he'd been to in Seattle where there were something like 8 fights and 6 were the same guy on Seattle, my comment was, "I bet his name started with a 'Z' and ended with 'ack FitGerald'."

During the conversation about that particular T-Bird, the puck went under the little breakfast nook and behind a scrapbook organizer and it turned into a scrum along the boards at my feet, so i blew the fake whistle, bent down and dropped the puck back on the playing surface. VonHammer's comment, "The Ice Girls got that one."

When it was time for the Nugget to head home, he was QUITE sad to leave the Canadian and hockey goodness. We gave him his first taste of hockey and he's hungry for more!! :) Corrupting young minds. That's what the Maple Leaf Mafia is all about.