See you in September...

The dust has settled, the tears have subsided and the profanities have been replaced with words appropriate for McNephew to repeat like the tiny parrot he is.

Monday was a bad day. Mama had surgery, McMan announced his trip to Calgary (sans McP) and my Sharkies were ousted from the playoffs by Finny's QuackQuack Ducks. She phoned me after the game amidst the celebration at Honda Center to hear me having an emotional breakdown. I know, I know, it sounds like I'm way too invested in my team - but let's face it, everything compounded, I deserved a good cry (not to mention a stiff drink and some sort of refrigerated baked-good dough).

My opinion of the season:
WOW. What a team. There was a reason they won the President's Trophy. They had great communication on the ice, the team was playing cohesively, and the scoring came from every line. Nabby and Bouche were great in net and made the big saves when they needed to.

My opinion of the post-season:
Brief, yes, but filled with passion (shitting the bed in game 4 aside). The Getzlaf line did exactly what they needed to shut down Big Joe, Cap'n Patty and the Guch. The fight between Getzlaf and Thornton was a BEAUTY (even though i only got to see it in higlights - effing Versus...) - Just when I think I can't possibly love that big man any more, he goes and feeds lefts to Getzy like he's asking, "Please, sir, may I have some mo'?"

Anyone who knows my love of goalies is perplexed when they are with me while watching a Sharks game. I realize that Nabokov is a good goalie, but I lack confidence in him for some reason. My cries of "I LOVE MY GOALIE!!!!" at WHL games turn into "I love my goalie?" watching Nabby. It's a love/hate relationship. I think after the two losses at home, and especially during game 4, Boucher should've been in net - if for nothing else than to send a message to the team. When that man is hot in net, the thing becomes inpenetrable. Would it have made a difference in the series? Maybe, maybe not. Jonas Hiller took on the role of the Jaws-killing "Brody" like Johnny Depp took on the role of Jack Sparrow - it was scary.

My thoughts on changes to be made within the team:
The cry all around, "Trade Joe Thornton because he doesn't produce during playoffs!"
I call bullshit on that. Like I said earlier, Game 4 aside, this was a battle against Hiller and the team in front of him knew exactly who to shut down to help their goalie on his superstar streak.
Sure some off-season changes will be made, that's going to happen anywhere, but I don't think trading Thornton is the answer. He's the assist-king. He's a passer that shoots when he has the opportunity (and those are usually in the back of the net).

To tell you the truth, I'm not a coach or a gm (don't look so shocked! lol) and I don't know what's going on inside the locker room, but it seems to me that with a season like this one, those HUGE trades would only break the chemistry down.

My inner-struggle with who to root for now:
I'm torn. While I don't want to root for the team who made mine look like their red-headed step-child (i can say that - i am one), one of the fibers woven into my being is the one that is Coach Carr from Mean Girls repeating in my ear "If you cheer for the Red Wings, you will get pregnant and die". (Seriously, it was almost a deal-breaker when first dating McMan)
Advantage: Quacks
Plus, if they win the whole thing, it makes the sting of losing to them in the first round not quite as bad.

My parting words for the Sharks 2008-2009 Season:
After the home-and-home to end the regular season, I was afraid of meeting the Ducks in the first round. They're a good team and they fought hard to win in the Shark Tank and got the job done. Had it been any other team, I'm fairly certain I'd still be rocking my Roenick jersey, rushing to the car to turn on my XM on my way home to plop myself in front of the HD feed, cheering my team on. It wasn't the Sharks' year, yet again. Maybe being an Ams fan through the good, the bad, and now back to the good has prepared me for this.

I ♥ my team. See you next season, Sharkies.

First two games: a reaction.

EFF.

That's my reaction. EFF.

Jonas Hiller is doing the same thing Giguiere did back in 2003, and it's pissing me off.

Down 2 games, the Sharks need to figure out how to get more than a couple pucks past this guy. Powerplay needs to improve and Nabokov needs to get his swagger back.

I've got a massive sore throat, so the yelling, though massive in quantity, was quite subdued.

Come on, Sharkies. I freakin believe in you - you can do this.

Flying Monkey Report - Playoff Mission 09-01: Complete

McPhizzle wanted us to get this posted yesterday, but we had a bit of a change in plans when we arrived at the inner sanctum of Girlwithapuck.com. You see, normally, being flying monkeys and all, we’re pretty good about getting in, getting what we want and then getting out. However, McP failed to warn us about the canine that has been added to Finny’s family. We hate dogs – especially dogs that don’t fall for our “go fetch” distraction techniques. Luckily, one of us had some beef jerky in a pouch that gave us enough time to move the photo of the Quacks hoisting the cup in 2007, console one member of the squadron who went into hysterics about how it should’ve been the Senators, and crack the code to (STRIKE) steal(/STRIKE) *ahem* borrow the list Ms. Finny had been keeping safe for Randy Carlyle. P.S. Finny, You should really change the combo on that safe. 37-55-55? Ducks-Lightning-Canucks? Anyone who has half an O’Brain cell would figure those jersey numbers out... If you’re picking up what we’re putting down.

Enjoy,
The Flying Monkeys.

Intercepted Communique Labeled Top Secret.

To: Randy Carlyle
From: Christy Finn

RE: Top 10

• 10. Cup Count. Anaheim: 13 players, total of 17 Rings. San Jose: 6 players, total of 9 Rings. The Ducks have more than half their roster full of men who’ve fully experienced the bitter battle and tasted the sweetness of Victory, drinking it freely from Lord Stanley’s Cup. They know what it’s like to heft that three foot trophy into the air, claim it as their own, and spend an entire summer celebrating their conquest. They also know the pain of watching something they’ve lain claim to pass on into the hands of another, the hands of an opponent, the hands of someone else. They’ll be driven to do what they can to give them another chance at re-claiming their lost treasure. And, more importantly, they know what they need to do, what kind of sacrifice, what kind of superhuman ability will be required – not asked – of them come puck-drop. Now, it’s go time.
• 09. Quacks No Longer. Once ridiculed as a joke, the Ducks long dropped their image as diminutive quacks trying to get people to take them seriously. Instead, they’ve adopted a rep for being a bully. It’s just like that kid you poked fun at when he was smaller, fatter, slower than you… until he grows up to become a lean, mean, hefty, muscled grown teenager with a long memory and a complex from all the teasing you put him through. Then, the funny business ends and the revenge of the one-time loser begins. Same story. Anaheim went from joke to yoked in a couple of seasons, bulldozing their way to the Cup in 2007. The 2009 Ducks aren’t too different from that squad. Some of the players have changed, but not the formula. Anaheim still boasts a line-up that doesn’t fear a pair of fists from the expected (George Parros) down to the unexpected (Bobby Ryan).
• 08. The Big 8. What can I say? I love Teemu Selanne. He’s a former Shark, so there’s a little added incentive to gain the upper-hand. Nevermind that the Sharks have a couple ex-Ducks who were part of the Cup-winning team in 2007, so clearly they have some added incentive to up their game against Anaheim. Still, with Selanne entering his waning years in the league, I’m sure he’ll be pumped up to make this run a good one. If anything, he’ll definitely be a problem for the Sharks if he gets the chance to. He’s ranked 5th in the NHL with 16 PPGs.
• 07. 4-on-4. No, not the play. I’m talking about Claude Lemieux’s four Cup Rings vs. Scott Niedermayer’s four Cup Rings. Lemieux, at age 43, may not have enough gas in the tank to push him through a grinding series against the Ducks. He’s one of those guys who can elevate his game when it comes down to playoff time and can provide veteran presence for the young Sharkies, but he’s got nothing but his age to beat out Anaheim’s four-time Cup winner, Scott Niedermayer. Scotty’s got a 8 year advantage on Lemieux at the ripe, youthful age of 35, and who’s still at the top of his game, all day, everyday. Scotty’s won every single major hockey championship in his career, from the Memorial Cup, World Junior Championship gold, World Championship gold, Olympic gold, four Stanley Cups, and the World Cup of Hockey. Advantage: Niedermayer. Come to think of it, Scotty always comes with the advantage… So, advantage: Anaheim.
• 06. Double D. As in, defense. Anaheim’s got the blueline special backing them up all the way to the crease, and the line runs deep. Two Norris Trophy winners beef up the blueline in Scott Niedermayer and rough-and-tough (maybe too-tough) Chris Pronger, and the newly returned Boom-Boom specializer, Francois Beauchemin. Added into that mix is Ryan Whitney who played a big role in defending his former team, the Pittsburgh Penguins, to the Finals in ’06.
• 05. Streaky Sneaky. The Ducks fumbled through much of their season, until they pulled it together to run a hot 7-2-1 record in their last 10. The Sharks, on the flipside of things, fumbled a bit with a 5-4-1 Last-10 record. If they keep that up, they’ll end up repeating history and being shown the door by their younger, southerner siblings. If the Ducks keep up their hotness, they’ll streak right on past the Sharks, but it definitely won’t be easy.
• 04. You Score, I Score. Anaheim’s offensive talent tips heavily in the direction of the Big Boys on the Numero Uno line, yet Scott Niedermayer, Rob Niedermayer* and Chris Pronger nailed over 10 goals each, indicating that offense can come off any line and at any given time. Most of the opposition will cite the chunk of goals bearing the Perry-Ryan-Getzlaf or Selanne name to mean that if they can shut them down, they’ll lock the quarterfinal up in their favor. I wouldn’t be so sold on that argument if I was San Jose since the name of the game is Step It Up (also known as: Win or Go Golfing), I’ll guarantee some playoff heroes will emerge when others are overly-focused on the moneymakers. [*No word on how many of those goals were empty-netters. Safe to say, a lot of 'em were.]
• 03. Monster Goalie. Okay, so he’s had his crappy moments this season, still J.S. Giguere has the ability to steal some games if need be (since it's a safe bet that Jonas Hiller will get the nod before J.S. does). But he’s done it before, he can definitely do it again. In 2003, he tossed the whole of the bench on his back and heroically carried them to within one game of Cup glory. In 2006, he brought us to the WCF where we lost to the eventual Cup-winners. And in 2007, he backed us up the distance and enabled us to snatch the Cup from Ottawa. Despite his less-than-impressive season, Jiggy still has it in him… he just needs to lay it all out on the ice and get the job done. No ifs, ands, or buts about it.
• 02. Chew Up Cheechoo. That’s not necessarily a real reason why Anaheim ought to win, but really, something’s got to be done about that little sniper. Anaheim’s got the manpower to do it. The question that remains is will Anaheim find a way to take Cheechoo-choo down?
• 01. SoCal > NorCal anytime, anyplace. ‘Nuff said. Bring it on, NorCal. The Ducks are hella ready.

Some interesting stuff up there. Needless to say, this will be a good series, filled with emotional, rivalry-filled games and a few choice texts and tweets swapped between McP and Finny. Yes, we’ve got plenty of beer in the fridge for game-watching. It’s a good thing, too – we’re on 24/7 patrol - Casa McP is on lockdown after the Radical Redhead herself found an intruder from GwaP hacking into her precious new laptop. Maybe Finny was up to the same tricks we were. Well played, Quack-fan, Well played.

*Ding dong*

"Hello, Quack quack?"
"Candy gram."
"Quack what??"
"Uh... Flowers."
"I'm allergic to flowers, Quack..."
"Stale bread?"
*duck opens door* "Oh no! Quack! Landshark!"

So it begins. The civil war of hockey in California. North versus South. McP versus Finny. We've already discussed it. Both returning to hockey blogging at the same time, this was bound to happen. We've vowed to remain friends no matter what the outcome is.

She's scared - as well she should be. My Sharkies won the President's Trophy this year - that's pretty impressive! Having a record of 32-5-4 at home this year bodes well for the fishes.

HOWEVER - The Sharks and Ducks have battled it out all year. I'm not thinking the Quacks are going to swim right over to an exposed dorsal fin or anything. The Sharks need to want this. The need to play for it and they need to work as a team to get there.

I'm not skipping ahead to any thoughts on the second round, because, well, the first hasn't technically started yet. Let's just say I have confidence in my team. And I'll be on my couch sporting the 27 of My precious JR every game I can catch.

Edouard says "me too, mama." (which sounds an awful like "meow")

Maybe my mocking quacks were taken as encouragement..

Went to the grocery store after work. Figured that I wasn't going to want to eat a bowl of flour or sugar for dinner. Hammer and I chatted as I was waiting on line to pay, talking about how NBC was completely in LURVE wtih the Ducks, telling the audience pretty much to tune in 3hours later when the Quacks were lifting the cup. Hammer also noted that Pierre was giving handjobs to the Quacks bench between plays. I believe it.

Blog starting late tonight as I may or may not have had to be my own trainer after my thumb was attacked by a knife. There was a lot of blood lost, but I believe we have it stopped and I'll make a full recovery. Of course in the press release we'll just state that it's a hand injury and list me as day-to-day.

1st intermission... Pierre McDouche, who is obviously in love with (my husband) Mike Fisher, interviews him yet again. Hammer comments that we are going to have beautiful children and I inform her of McDouche's intentions to break up our happy home. Hammer's response was, "Pierre is an Asshat. Just incase you didn't know."
"Oh, I totally know, that's why I'm not worried about him stealing my man."

I join you just as Alfredsson scores a goal, making it 1-2... *sigh* That one was touched by an angel... a reward for (my husband)'s good behaviour.

4:16 EFF! Quacks score yet again. Well, knda... that one was scored by Phillips. Damn. It's Schmitty all over again. Lonliest man in Anaheim = Chris Phillips.

3:14 Schubert with the elbow. Way to give up, Schubert. like I just said to Hammer when she commented that the sens may have just effed themselves, "Yup, right in the pooper."

2:22 Alfie looks up at the clock and thinks, "222! Make a wish! I wish for a short-handed goal" It works.

1:32 Hopes up... and just as quickly, back down. The quack's goal goes off of Volchenkov and his shin pads. Neighbor from downstairs has probably never heard the F word screamed so loud so many times from a woman who is home all alone.

19:09 (my husband) roughs up Moen on the boards behind Emery. Me gusta.

16:17 Emery has to save The Keeper of the Brows Wade Redden's bacon. What did Emery do to all these guys? And why are (my husband) Fisher and Alfredsson the only teammates to forgive him.

Goal #5 by the quacks. There's nothing left to say.

14:12 Schubert in the box AGAIN. I'm sick to my stomach.

12:37 O. M. G. Vermette Penalty Shot. How would one say "fuck" in french? Hammer's answer, "fucque yeaux"

7:59 I don't think I've ever wanted to cry when the cup was about to be awarded before. Even in '99 I had the hope all the way up to the winning 'goal.' This is a strange feeling.

7:33 Volchenov takes a penalty. (my husband) is shown wiping his brow. The pain is showing in his eyes already. You have NOTHING to be ashamed about, you beautiful beautiful man.

4:07 Doc says that us Sens fans can take pride in the fact that they had a great year. They really did. Maybe Elgin was their good luck charm...

3:00 Nail. In. Coffin. I stopped the bleeding on my thumb, I can't stop the bleeding in the game. I'm only one nurse.

1:30 Well, if it does end up being Teemu Lightyear's last game, I guess I can't be THAT upset.

I swear to Grezky, if I hear the crowd start to chant, "We will, we will, QUACK YOU!" I will jump off of my veranda, landing face-first on Neighbor's hibachi.

With about 5 mintues left in the game, Hammer asked all of the Maple Leaf Mafia who we thought would win the Conn Smythe... I won the prize for correctly predicting Salt&Pepper Neidermeyer. What's the prize, you may ask? I get to shave his beard.

Buzz hoisting the trophy made me a little misty. I think they should skate it around the rink in the Flying V.

Bryan Burke hoisting the cup. *vomit*

Turns out "I'm Lauren's Bitch" Pronger separated his shoulder in the 1st and kept popping it back in, much like Landon Jones did the whole 2005-2006 WHL season. Then his keeper shows up on the ice with the little Pronger-nuggets and the interview comes to a hault. Hmm.. Imagine that.

The brothers Neidermeyer. That kind of was a tender moment. Brothers that look that much alike with a beard creep me out, though.

I need to put on my Oilers windshirt on and go on a walk to clear my head. Storm Schmorm, I need some fresh air.

DOUBLE DAMNIT!

Ams Trade Mike Kaye to Saskatoon


Mike (left) and Colten wont be able to lean on eachother to keep their heads out of the mud this season.


Ok, TraderBob. I'm for real here. Can't you let the wound of MattyGate at least scab over before you go and trade Mike Kaye?! So he was kind of a band-aid, whatever... he was a playmaker! "Kaye to Yellowhorn and SCORE!" we like that combo. A lot. Especially with that result.

So Overage situation is all but solved, Matty wont get caught in the Overage Gap and end up playing back in the home province like Cole did last year and Mike will be able to live at home with Mom, Dad and his sisters. But what about US?!

I'm declaring right now that TraderBob can make no more moves this week. Also, that the Ottawa Senators HAVE to all play like (my husband) Mike Fisher tonight. That's all there is to it.

In the immortal words of Celine Dion, "Nothing's broken but my heart."

McPhizzle has spoken.

*Le Sigh* Sens style.

Last night's game... Where to start?

(my husband) Mike Fisher - I now want to clone him, not only for myself but for the whole freaking Sens team. If it was me, I wouldn't be speaking to any of my teammates - but we all know that since it is Mike, He's in there encouraging (and praying for) every single one of them. I love that man.

Ray Muther Flinking Emery - Floppin like a fish is good... when it works... I'm assuming he's asking his Dmen if they plan on making the trip to Anaheim. Maybe even enticing them with the fact that Honda Center is located relatively close to (the holiest of all places) Disneyland.

Don Cherry - The suit was toned down, yet didn't make him look like any less of a windbag. While I respect the fact that he's a National Treasure in (the Homeland) Canada, he always annoys the crap out of me. That was, until he called MamaBear Brett Hull out about getting off Alfredsson's case on the GOAL that he scored on account of the "goal" Brett "scored" in 1999.

Hammer & McP via text on Don Cherry:
Hammer: HA! Don inviting himself back! I love it!
McP: Hahaha! NBC is shitting themselves!
Hammer: I bet they had more viewers, though. Who doesn't love Don Cherry? Ok, lots of people, but they still watch him to see what shit comes out of his yapper. :)
McP: Either that or they were wondering what in the hell Colonel Sanders has to do with Hockey.
Hammer: LOL! Exactly!

The game did bring a tender moment to Casa de McPhizzle, however. Roomie came in for the final minutes of the game. "Oh good lord! This is intense!"
"Now you know why I love hockey."
"Can we hold hands the rest of the game?"
"I thought you'd never ask."

Tender moment ended at the buzzer when I, once again, chased her from my room by dropping the Eff Sharp pretty loudly.

Game 3 jogging blog

Todd Beartuzzi and the Good Luck bear Megan sent me with the lucky CAN penny in his pocket rooting the Sens on in my absence.

Disclaimer: (Mostly to calm Roomie's fears)

I promise I'm not Teddy-obsessed. They were gifts.

After spending all day boating on the mighty Columbia River in the 100 degree (38*C for my metric friends) heat, I decided that the running blog would become a slow jog tonight. I listened to the game on the satelite radio on the boat and am now tucked securely into my bed, watching the DVR'd action.

NHL on NBC... Papa Clement, Mamabear Brett Hull and little Ray Ferraro. It's a damn good thing i like Papa bear and baby bear, because Mamabear makes me want to light my face on fire.

Pierre McGuire interviews (Margee's beloved) Heatley. He can hardly hear the bald man speak over the crowd love. I'd give my little brother's right testicle to be there. What?! He only needs one... and I'm sure his wife wouldn't mind... much...

As a vocalist, and an anthem singer, there's nothing quite like the announcer reminding you that MILLIONS of people are watching/listening/waiting for you to screw up. He did a BEAUTIFUL job on the Star Spangled Banner. It's one of the hardest songs to sing, but he did it at a great tempo and what a moving vibrato! .... And O Canada, is there a more beautiful song than that, the anthem of the Homeland? I submit that there is not.

20:00 Neil and Moen start the game off right. LOVE IT!

19:38 I still can't get over how fast these teams are when they're both at the top of their games and the height of their emotions.

17:58 Emery makes that look so simple. "No biggie, you guys. I do this every day."

16:09 And the first penalty of the game goes to..... The Keeper of the Brows, Wade Redden!

14:21 And the first goal of the game goes to...... The Anaheim Ducks? Traps McDonald? le sigh.

3:50 OTTAWA SCORES!!!! Baby Hailey's Toothless Daddy scores for the Sens. She's their new good luck charm.

1:03... name that squirt. Baby Mario. Sans Mullet.

(insert McPhizzle snoring here... Cut to 8:51PM PST on 03 JUN. Spent the day with Ma and Pa, watching the BEST LONGEST MOVIE EVER, POTC:3 and avoiding anything hockey I could as to not spoil any more of the visual action than nesseccary.)

Mom sent me home with a "Sens Rose" from the rose bush that is taking over the world. It's proudly displayed in my washroom.


1st Intermission. The Golden Child speaks. hard to believe that he's a mite under 20. What was I doing at that age? I was finishing my 2nd year of College and working at Victoria's Secret. That's the same as being the Captain of an NHL team, the league's leading scorer and up for 2 more awards, right?

"There he is, in the drapery, The legend, Don Cherry." OH Papa Clement, how I love thee. I don't know if mainstream America is ready for Don Cherry. I guess we'll find out on Monday when he joins in the NHL on NBC fun!

19:00 Strong start for Ottawa. I'm liking the way this is starting, boys. You're sparking McPhizzle's little heart.

17:56 Spezza and Pahlsson mugging it a little on the boards. You get 'im, Jason! Ooh.. the Tearaway jersey. Hammer's text, "He should just take it all off" makes a lot more sense now.

16:43 McAmmond getting that shot ahead was beauty

16:21 Jersey sharing? I wonder if he got to pick whose sweater he wanted. Or if they asked Eaves. i can see it now, just like sisters, "COACH! he took my jersey and didn't even ASK!!! You love Jason more! I knew it!"

14:40 Perry scores on a Phillips turn over. Sens didn't even realize it had gone in, they're still banging at it.

14:13 Shot from the point gets in past Giguere b/c the Quacks only had 4 skaters on the ice. Way to take advantage of that Volchenkov!

12:22 Getzlaf gets that goal back. Damnit.

10:20 Quick reaction by Giggy to direct the puck into the mesh so he could get a sip of water from his straw.

9:53 Giggy talking about Pronger. "It's nice to have him around." Of course it is. It's always better to have for you rather than against you - no one likes being elbowed in the head.

9:25 McAmmond lost showdown in practice and is now the Juice Boy. Gotta love Mike Comrie giving that bit of info to the media. :)

4:54 Are they really playing circus music behind Speedy!Spezza? Oh, NBC... *sigh*

4:21 The parade to the Penalty box continues as the puck ALMOST goes in the net... Giggy = glad there ar only 4 minutes that he has to stay in net with that brick in his hockey underwear.

3:46 Goal...??? Let's review... Alffie's trying to stop? OH yes. That would be a GOAL.

1:26 Juice boy scores!!! Well, ok, so it was Pronger, but they can't really announce that. Karma's a bitch, ain't it?

00:00 Pierre McGuire interviews (my husband) Mike Fisher. The little bruise under his left eye just adds to the love.

2nd Intermission.
MamaBear Hull is back. "That's a bad goal," he says about the Volchenkov goal. No, that was good, the Quacks just can't count - flippers don't work as well for that as fingers and toes do.

Now he's talking about the Alfredsson goal. SHUTUPSHUTUPSHUTUP! I can handle Papa Clement and Lil Ferraro, but not "Hully." "This is the Stanley cup finals!" Oh yeah? So was the 'goal' you scored in '99, asshat.

19:24 Schaeffer on the partial break from (my husband) Fisher. Again, a good start. I dig it.

17:57 Pronger lays out McAmmond with an elbow to the face and he hit his head on the ice and then on the boards. Head injuries are scary stuff, skippy. You never want to see someone on the ice like that, no matter which side they're on. NO PENALTY?! Good grief. Ok, so I know he's suspended (text from Hammer earlier today), but COME on.

17:05 Emotions are running high and Ryan Getzlaf tries to make out with (my husband) Mike Fisher, and like the gentleman he is, Mike refuses. Of course Ryan's feelings of frustration after the rejection are to be expected, but is swearing at the nice man who held back when he could've mangled your face really neccessary, Getzy? No, no it's not.

OMGSh! BABY EMERY with the BOXING GLOVES?! I want 3.

15:51 Moen tries to break and Emery flops like the miraculous fish he is to make the save. LURVE. GOALIES.

14:17 May takes a penalty. Great discipline, Quacks.

11:38 Volchenkov with number two on the evening and Goalie Quack gets a little refreshment from his straw.

10:00 This is about the time I got home and turned the game on as I was getting ready to go out to Blinky's show...

8:55 Getzlaf Loves the box AND the "F" word. I think SOMEONE has some pent-up anger about his thinning hair. Displacement isn't healthy, Ryan.

8:01 Has Teemu Lightyear been on the ice at all before now? Or was he hanging out with Woody in the locker room? What a non-presence tonight.

5:25 "I'm Lauren's Bitch" Pronger sits on the bench, showing off that gap-toothed grin. McPhizzle's nostrils flare. Not attractive, but true.

4:31 Traps McDonald revisits the 'bad boy box' for a time out because his muscular shoulders made Emery lose an edge right outside the crease. I should check the scoresheet to see if he got 2:00 for Excessive Creatine.

Well, Sens fans, they're back in it. We'll be back tomorrow night, same bat time, same bat channel.

Calder Cup Game 1

WOOHOO!!! Hamilton Bulldogs win it 4-0! Our little Pricey faced and saved 46 shots. FORTY-SIX SHOTS. Of course, he was the First Star. Someone give that kid a cookie. A big one. Better yet, Carey, I'm sending you a whole friggin pan of brownies. Wait a minute... he's in Canada - I'm sending him a bottle of Jack.

It's been quite a while since we've had one of our boys do so well so fresh out of our system. *sniff sniff* look how much he's grown!!!


2003-2004 season3rd Star after winning game against the Brandon Wheatkings( picture of a picture - I knew I'd regret getting rid of my scanner... )

Game 2 Running Blog

This whole 8pm EST start time is not making this West Coast 9-5'er a very happy girl. Luckily I had Sherry's liveblog to help me get my Sens mojo going before I left the office.

Laughed with Mo on the phone while I cooked dinner went through the drive-thru and drove home. I decided not to start blogging until after I finished my low cal meal.

1:53 OH. MY. GAH. Michael. Fisher. Normally I'm against retalitory penalties, but Ho.Ly. I need to move along...

1:28 Text message recieved from Momma McPhizzle, "Your husband is such a Brute! And so cute when he's mad!"

5:58pm Chris Simpson interviewing Teemu Lightyear. I don't like him with the beard. He should shave it. Because I said so.

6:01pm Text #2 from Ma McP, "Your dad is looking good tonite. Hot is the word, I think!" HA! Well, Ma, now we know how I got here.

6:03pm Dad picks Chris Chelios as his Leader of the year. Good call. He's like a freakin timex... Still tickin.

6:11pm They keep showing Mike's tantrum. I do believe McPhizzle will have to put him to bed when he gets home. ("So THAT'S what the kids are calling it these days.")

10:00 Why aren't people speaking up more about the goaltending in this series? Half-way through the 2nd and they're still tied at 0-0

6:30pm "Wyann Smyff!" He's wearing blue.... Maybe foreshadowing of him re-signing with the Isles? Please?

7:05 Is it wrong that I love watching Emery flop like a fish? Or that I REALLY wish Priessing was still a Shark?

6:18 "Neidermeyer to Neidermeyer" teehee... all i can think of is Knob Hockey.

2:40 Finally back to watching the game after Roomie (who is hopped up on diet pills) called and yapped about her office drama for a good 5 minutes.

0:44.2 the orange Home Depot Power Play flag is REALLY distracting. Why didn't they just make it sparkly?

0:24 Traps McDonald with the hook. He kind of looks like the Dbag I've been playing hard-to-get with over the past year. That makes me like him even less.

6:52pm Papa Clement says he'd give the first star to Emery. FINALLY! THANK YOU!

6:58pm If I hear this Absolut Vodka ad (the one with the muther effing pillow fight riot) one more time, I'm going to beat my TV with a wine and cheese baguette.

6:59pm Welcome to the States - we give more face-time to SnoopDog in a Ducks sweater than the actual game. Apparently Hockey is a G-thing. Makes me thirsty for some Gin and Juice.

18:07 I'm sitting on my bed and yelling "GO GO GO GO!!!" like I'm on the US Women's Olympic Curling team when Roomie walks in. She feels the need to over-exagerate my Minnesota-tinted accent. I tend to love her.

16:37 I. Love. My. Goalie. Ray mudder flinking Emery.

14:34 OH fisticuffs. (Margee's beloved) Heatley and Pahlsson chipping at eachother as they're both trying to leave the ice, a pileup on the boards. I love hockey.

5:44 (Margee's beloved) Heatley turns the puck over and Pahlsson scores. McPhizzle yells, "EXPLITIVE!" and Roomie quietly leaves the room in fear.

3:01 I'm standing next to my bed making incoherant loud noises every time the sens get the puck near Giguere. I'm sure the downstairs neighbors of Casa De McPhizzle are wondering what kind of sexual exploits are going on.

00:00 It's time to clean the bedroom and pop some food in the crock pot while Roomie and I go on our nightly hike around the sub-division. Hopefully I'll be sound asleep by the time (my husband) Mike Fisher gets home. Something tells me he's not going to be in his normal love of a self.

Game 1 running Blog

Wow... fast start... I can't remember seeing hockey this fast... maybe it's the break...

First goal Ottawa! YESSSS!!!! what great persistance to get that in...

The Sens defence is kicking ass. no shots on that first PP for the ducks. i lke it, boys, coach mer says keep it up

Gotta admit, Jiggy is looking pretty good. Damn.

When May was exchanging words with the Sens bench my mom's Fisher quote was, "My mother-in-law is going to eat your liver!"

MacDonald and his traps scored a goal. he can't even raise his arms all the way to celebrate.

Nice clothesline on Comrie, Jackman... this game/series is going to get UGLY... i should've figured with two super physical teams... but that was a stupid penalty

Teemu "Buzz Lightyear" Selanne is looking on top of his game. As much as I'm tooting for the Sens, he catches my eyeballs... he really wants "to go to infinity and beyond."

Ok, boys. 30 seconds left before you can get back into the locker room and pull your heads out of your asses, and come back in the 2nd with the same intensity you had in the 1st 1/2 of the period

(dinner break)

5 on 3... little bit of a disciplinary breakdown, eh, mr ducksworth?

RE: the 5 on 3 & Emery's disappearing act from the crease...
Hammer: I bet Brian Burke just shit a brick.
McP: I hope it hurt
Hammer: LOL No kidding. Asshat.
(insert him moving out of goal)
McP: Check that. I just shit a brick.
Hammer: so did Ray Emery.

Paulsson drives me nuts. i'm sure if he was on a team i liked he'd be one of my favorites, but since he's on the opposing team, i dislike his chippy play with a great intensity.

Hammer: I'm hope Murray and his lisp are on the press conference. "Thisch schaushce isch scho scho."
McP: Haha! Fischer'sch firscht goal was crucschial.

There's gotta be a picture of Mrs. Neidermeyer in the box... those boys have been in there a lot.

Number of bricks now in Emery's hockey underware = 3.

The shout heard round the Ranch when the Quacks scored #3... "NOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! EEEEEFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF!!!!!!!!" ...... Followed by my mother calling me by my full name. oops.

Pronger wants to make out with Heatly.... Wonder if his wife will make him sit out the next game.

Karma's a bitch, eh, Chris? 19:16 in the box. As Jen said, "Burke having brick diarrhea."

Damnit. Quack quack quack quack, Mr. Ducksworth.

The end.
back to the Sopranos Marathon on A&E.

Playoffs of days gone by...

I remember it like it was yesterday. I tuned in to game 6 of the Stanley Cup Final between the Dallas Stars and the Buffalo Sabres on June 19, 1999. I, of course, was cheering for Stu Barnes of the Sabres.

I had a firey hatred for the Stars, almost equal to the hatred I had/have for the Wings. Not only were they the favorite team of the guy that dumped me a few months before, but their star player was Brett Hull. Cocky, loudmouthed, goal scorer. Normally I would've been throwing my panties his direction (well, if he was better looking...), but there's something about the man that rubs my fur the wrong way.

My eyes were glued to the TV and I was oblivious to everything going on around me. A boy started talking to me. I was too engrosed in the on-ice action to notice how attractive he was. How was I supposed to know that he would end up being my first love and we'd spend the next 3 years together? but that's neither here nor there.
"What are you watching?"
Still focused intently on the game, I answered, "Game 6 of the Stanley Cup Finals. Third Overtime. Stars are up 3-2 in the series."
"What's the score?"
Insert my 'wtf' face here, "It's Tied."
"Obviously." He laughed.
"One-One."
"Who are you cheering for?"
"Sabres. Hate the Stars."
Catching on that I'm not a huge talker during OT, "Great. Me too."

It was right about then that Brett Hull scored the game-winning 'goal.' I stood up and shouted at the TV, "NO! NO! HIS FOOT WAS IN THE CREASE! NO GOAL! HIS FOOT WAS IN... they're hoisting the cup. No. NO! SUCK IT! Suck it, Brett Hull!" (and yes, any of you who are familiar with the former WWF, I included the DX motion of crossed arms with the pelvic thrust)

It was right then that he proposed marriage to me. I believe his words were, "You know hockey, hate the stars AND you watch wrestling? You are quite possibly the perfect woman! Someday you will marry me."

Oh, how things change in 8 years. I learned a lot from him (one thing being to never date a Blackhawks fan) but haven't spoken to him in about four years. I hear he's in Texas - I think San Antonio. I no longer have a hatred for the Stars, in fact, I want to shrink Marty Turco down to a size where I can carry him around in my purse all the time, and the only time I have to see Brett Hull is when he's having his little lovers quarrells with Ray Ferraro on the NHL on NBC with Papa Clement there to keep them from having make-up sex right there on the newsdesk.

Eastern Conference Champions!

Perfect morning for hockey. I woke up early and helped Roomie look like a Barbie - she even asked me to do her hair for the pageant itself. Might as well, since I'm opting out of actually going.

So there I was, sitting in my living room in my over-stuffed chair while Roomie was at her pageant contestant meeting, sipping tea and getting ready to watch the love of my playoff life, Mike Fisher, play game 5 of the Eastern Conference Semi-Finals. I thought to myself, THIS is perfection.

I started taking notes to make a post filled with all the hockey goodness from the game and then Roomie came home and started filling me in on everything that went on at the meeting, so that stopped. I can't watch hockey, listen AND type a the same time - I'm only one woman.

So, here's what I got down:

Buffalo's third-jerseys drive me batty. I'm not quite sure why, but they make me angry.

Ottawa seems to want it more. They're limiting the Sabres chances and ... (i didn't finish that thought. I think that's when Roomie walked in.)

Paul Gaustad Vs Mike Fisher... That's a good-looking battle.

Roy's hooking penalty - "oh fuck off!" HA love it! The joys of lip reading... not like it'd be hard to guess what they were saying.

That's where it ended. i'm pretty sure that's when I pressed record on the DVR and went to Target and the Pageant Closet with Roomie, only to come home to watch the end of the game - oh wait, no, the Preakness pre-show. Grr. Turns out they switched it to VS, so I wouldn't have gotten the celebration saved to the harddrive of my Dish anyway. L-A-M-E, NBC. LAME.

Will the hoisting of the PofW trophy be a precursor to the end of the next series the Sens enter into? Or did they jinx it? I'm hoping for the first.

Western Conference zzzzz....

After my annual lady-parts appointment today (which we all know and love loathe) I picked my perscriptions up at the Walgreens and headed out the ranch to mooch some food off my parents and watch at least part of the Toddball's game on the big tv. I also snagged a quick power nap during the first period. The begining of the game was that riveting....

I do tend to love exchanging texts with Hammer during the games. (And mom laughs every time she hears the Maple Leaf Mafia ringtone) After the 1st intermission interview with Jackman we had a little chat chit about how we were glad he didn't put his teeth in for national TV so his credibility wouldn't be hurt.

I'm glad she understands what I mean when I say that even without his partial and a nose full of snot, that I'd still cuddle up with Big Bert all night long (with Julie's permission of course).

I guess I should explain how I feel about this series since you're probably all asking yourself why I'd be cheering for the Arch Nemisis Red Wings. Ever since they acquired the Todd, it's been hard to hate them with the fire of ten thousand roasted marshmallows like I used to. And the ducks... I don't have anything against them per say, but Brian Burke is their GM - as well as an owner in the Chili-wiggity-wack Bruins - which means he tried to steal my team from me. BAD BURKEY, BAD! Therefore, I guess i'm rooting for the Wings in this Western Conference Snooze-fest.

That Ryan Getzlaf and his stupid pretty goals... Been making me swear since he was a wee tot playing for the Hitmen. I do, however, enjoy when they pan to him between plays - he likes to say that F word. A lot. My favorite lip-read quote of the night comes from the young Ryan, "Come ON! F**k me!" No thank you, but I'm sure there are a few ladies and germs that would be more than willing to take you up on that, sir.

Hammer and I also think that Bert and Fillpula need to be traded to teams we actually LIKE.

Caption Me: Turco & Luongo

Luongo: Hi! I'ma Borat!
Turco: You sonofabitch.

Playoff Musings

I'm already enjoying the hours upon hours of sunshine (albeit through the windows in my office...) and I'm STOKED to get out on the river (when it warms up a few degrees). However, I am aware of the fact that soon, the only hockey I'm going to be watching is if I walk into the living room at an inopportune moment and catch my roomie on the couch playing tonsil hockey with one of her many suitors.
Post season thoughts. In so many ways, for so many teams.

• Our Ams are home for the summer. Partying like it's 199--- their birth year.


• The Grizz... who am I kidding? Jen is right, even the Winterhawks could've beat them this spring. At least they got their celebration on at the Price is Right.


• My Islanders (because as they say, We're all Islanders) We all celebrated their jubilant rise to the post season only to have it raped away by the refs and the 'roids. (Wise words to Sean Hill from the immortal Pauly Shore in the cinematic masterpiece Son in Law, "Juice will make the jewels shrivel into sundried tomatoes!")


• The Blackhawks - Is it strange that sometimes I forget that they're in the NHL?


• TC Titans - I could really go for some Nachos and yelling random names at kids who are "squeezing the last drop out of Livin' the dream." I may or may not have woken from a deep sleep this morning shouting, "You're NOT OVECHKIN!"


• The Flames - I guess we'll have to get our fix of The Dion and slash-happy goalies from Youtube.


• The Pens - Read Ann's post from earlier today. My biggest fear: He'll try his damndest to corrupt poor Cindy Crosby. Be afraid. Be very afraid. He's brought the stock of other talented players down.... *coughheedcough*


• TampaBay - No sadness here. Just means that Vinny will get to start his scedule of shared custody with Jen and me.


• The Caps Again, no sadness. Just means we get to see Olie's "ugly mug" around town all summer. Ask Shar, it's a tough one to look at.... ha...


• Everett - You got beat by PG. Stick that in your rank, wet gear and ride home in it, Constantine.


• Seattle - Not so hot without Schmitty scoring goals for you, are ya?

At least the Maple Leaf Mafia never takes an off-season!