Driving up to the Security Check-Point this morning, the reader board flashed, “September 1, 2009.” Wow. It really is astounding how fast this summer has come to an end.

Someone asked me the other night at hockey what I’d been up to all summer. Of course, the only thing I really did do most of the summer was “Godspell.” As I told everyone at the cast party, that show and the friends I made were a Godsend.

Thinking back on the whole experience, I can’t imagine anything going more perfectly.

Number one, how in the WORLD did I forget that I am a Theatre Person? Being surrounded by people who are like-minded in political beliefs, taste in the arts and with SO much talent, it’s hard to believe I’ve lived the past few years without people walking into my apartment, sitting down and starting to play random things on the piano – things that they’ve written, Beatles songs or Showtunes we all sing along with, or just random sounds. People singing Happy Birthday in 3-part-harmony (in tune!), suggesting new Indie artists I may like and accepting people no matter what their differences may be has awakened a part of my heart that I had forgotten about.

Number two, with the events taking place right before (and during) the show, I could have gone into a tailspin, but knowing I had a cast and crew depending on me kept me going.

Number 3, the amount of talent in our cast was astonishing. Every night people were asking if we were touring from New York or LA. There was one little lady from Yonkers who found it VERY hard to believe I hadn’t grown up around there as well. (I guess my “Abraham” was convincing.)

Number four, the whole cast was perfectly selected for their individual roles and brought something special and unique to the experience for cast, crew and audience. There were a few people, however, who I felt a special connection with.

Let’s start with Ellicia, our director-extraordinaire, one of my best friends and someone who has ALWAYS been there for me, no matter what, for all of the 11 years I’ve known her. Whenever I get down on myself, my life, my love-life, I can look at her and see that she has overcome these same obstacles in her life and ended up with a wonderful partner, a job she is passionate about, a beautiful home and two wonderful kittehs. While she’s really not that much older than I am, I do want to be her when I grow up.

Sue Schick… What a magnificent woman! Our Producer and my confidant, always exactly where I needed her with the exact words I needed to hear… Or even just a hug. SUCH a blessing. And Miss Emily… such a sweet, sweet soul.

I made fast friends with Anna at auditions, commenting on how Melissa was so adorable that I wanted to shrink her and carry her around in my pocket everywhere. Melissa and I still laugh about that being the first thing I ever said to her and how she wasn’t sure if I was talking to her or not. Anna’s dry wit and level head kept me sane during some tense rehearsals. Miss Banana Blueberry and I didn’t need many words to tell each other how we were feeling about certain situations – somehow we just understand each other. Thank you for accepting the roll that we are both usually type-cast in so I could try something different. ;)

Speaking of Melissa, I do believe she is my long-lost very-much younger, taller, skinnier and Jewish twin. Her style and heart are equally spectacular to me. She genuinely cares about people, their feelings and well-being. Like most, if not all, of the cast, wise and mature beyond her years. My favorite thing about her is when she is excited about something, her face lights up like a menorah on the eighth night of Hanukkah. (“YAY HANUKKAH!”)

Then there’s Scott. What can be said about him other than he is the “Jack” to my “Grace”? My court jester when I’m about to crack. I can’t count how many times he listened to me vent, told me to do something with my hair and knew exactly what my facial expression meant from across the stage. When I need a little pick-me-up, I watch this on my phone. There’s no one I would’ve rather looked at for the “frozen” monologues of “By My Side.”

Lauren (aka Lolo). How I wish we would’ve bonded earlier in the rehearsal process! Sitting at Shari’s Restaurant trying to help silence the 8 other (LOUD) people at the table, she turned to me and said, “We are the only adults here.” It was true, and it began. I thank the “Super Chill” (Albertson’s generic brand of soda - 10 for $10) and “puppy chow” for cementing the friendship in silliness and practicality. Her free spirit and love of all things… well, that I love, makes me feel as though I’m not so alone in the world in my desires. I’m so much looking forward to October 26, when we will be seeing MIKA in Seattle! (MIKA!!!! SQUEEE!!!!) Whenever we hang out, no matter how mellow the situation or how sick one of us might be, there are always good times had. No one in Tri has been more supportive of my new choices in life and direction I want it to go into. I am so jealous she is moving to Seattle. My tweet from last week, “Alas, the economy keeps me stationary,” rings in my head when I think of how wonderful it would be to pick up and move at the same time so we could share in the adventure of being the new girls in the City.

Yes, I’ve saved my IndyAndy Jones for last. When we started the rehearsal process, we joked around a few times, but I was still stuck in the mind-set that all young, good-looking guys were inevitably jerks and wouldn’t want to hang out with me or be my friend. Wrong. WAY wrong. After he laughed at me for almost blowing a gasket during a particularly aggravating rehearsal and hanging out at DQ, he has been one of the people I talk to the most about the widest range of topics. Without going into much sappy detail, I have never been complimented so highly with such a frequency as I have from Andy. Without any kind of expectation of anything but friendship - after being with him, I leave with the affirmation that someone (besides family members) believes I am a beautiful, intelligent, humorous woman with much to offer the world. The first thing he said to me after walking into Starbucks last night was, “You have a halo of beauty and grace!” What woman in their right mind wouldn’t love to hear that from someone you know isn’t trying to get into your pants?

Being in this show about love, life and community and surrounding myself with these wonderful individuals, my passion for life has been renewed. Peace, Love, Joy, Happiness, Live and Let live. Those are things all people should have in their lives. It’s my new goal in life to help whoever I can have those things by what ever means I can. When people look at me, I hope they see compassion, tolerance, grace and friendship. The only person I can control is me and I am the one who decides whether or not to have a good out-look on life.

So, there it is; the new me. I don’t know where this will lead me. And where that normally would scare the living snot out of me, I am now incredibly excited to see where my life goes.

I’m leaving you with a quote from one of my characters in ‘Godspell’,

“In every community, there is work to be done. In every nation, there are wounds to heal. In every heart, there is the power to do it.” - Marianne Williamson

Attempt #2

So I went to the Dr this morning - Bronchitis. Ick. Feeling much better, though.

#1 - WHOO HOO!!!! Chetters playing in the Prospects Game!
#2 - WHOO HOO!!!! Donny to coach one of the teams! (Promotion back to the E, A or N!??!!? Anyone? Anyone? Bueller?)

made Coconut Shrimps for McMan and I for dinner. YUM! Washed it down with some Buckley's. YUK!

Brooks Laich scored the first goal for Washington tonight. havng a career year with this, his 8th goal. That's his total for all of last season. Go Brooksie, Go!

Olie kicks ass. In so many ways. And is beautiful. And a goalie. Enough said.

Hannan... Whenever I look at him i want to pinch the underside of his arm... REALLY hard! I'm still bitter he's not in Teal.

Watching the Dallas feed of games makes me want to light my face on fire when they play that Muzak during commercial breaks. But will I change it to the Chicago feed? No way. Then I'd swear at Jonathan Towes, or anyone who said his name, very loudly.

Everett scored first and second. Um.. Boys? Just because we're first in the league in PK doesn't mean you can take those shifts off. K thx.

PS - Hammer, your pancake made me angry.

First intermission recap comes on and they re-play the goal... McMan, who is sitting in the big puffy chair cheeered and raised his hands. I looked at him totally deadpan and said, "It's the re-cap."

"Wow. You are on Fuckin fire tonight, buddy." - McMan on the foxsports intermission report on the radio. (Heavy sarcasm implied)

Brent Seabrook. Remember when the (Lethbridge) Hurricanes had Seabrook bobble head night? I do. I was pissed it wasn't Firstborn bobble head night. Then again, I'm a little biased. Whatever, who cares if brent is in the NHL and Firstborn is in the English Elite league ;)

Stars win... Marty Turco is a freakin stud! Teddy bear, mickey fickey!

Ams: Jason misses the open net twice, Yellow misses the open net... How many times are we going to give Merrick a heart attack tonight?

McMan: "Notice Schmidt wasn't ranked."
McP: "Imagine that."

The girls on Deal or No Deal are hot. Especially in beaded cocktail dresses and leis.

Beach goes for High Sticking... Mestery refains from retaliation. THAT is why I heart #7.

McMan: You have a man voice right now.
McP: Does that turn you on?
McMan: NO! Thank God!

Goal tending change for Everett... Irving pulled with 2:46 left in the 2nd... maybe he has to poop? "Maybe they just traded him." - McMan

NO!!!!!! MY SON!!!!!!!! I don't like hearing that he's flat on his face after Bauer left his feet to check him from behind, but i LOVE hearing that Chetters almost went after Bauer. JEEBUS. My son is already more susceptible to concussion b/c of his broken jaw last year. 5 and a Game for Bauer - hopefully a suspension.

For real? did the rest of the league get together and decide that we were too good and to make us a team of conkies? Joseph, Abraham and Moses.

Oh yeah, classy, Everett fans... Boo the call.

Irving only out 37 seconds... Not enough time to poop... maybe just pee?

MY SON IS BACK ON THE BENCH!!!!!!!!!!!!! Thank you Jesus!!!

Sidebar- met Midel this morning. Pretty cool kid. As long as he stays out of the box.

Everett takes another stupid penalty and Yellow scores from Reese and my son on the 5-on-3! THANK YOU! Tied the game at 2:05 with a minute to go on the penalty from hit on my son!

Oh great... Another hook behind the play while we're tied at 7:55 left in Regulation. Jason Reece, I'm looking at you.

Oh, Tyler Keifer.... Retaliation is bad, mmkay? Wait a minute, we got the PP, good boy.

HAMMER! NO MORE PANCAKES! NONE!

HONESTLY?! 5-on-3 at the end of a tied game?! For crying out loud there is 2:12 left in regulation and our top goal-scorer is in the flinking box.

OT... i hate OT with everett... i hate SO's even more..

Westie just jinxed Midel. Stop doing that, Westie!

Jeebus... on to the shootout.

AND we lose.

I feel the urge to not blog anymore tonight. grrr... Son of a Beach.

HA! quote of the night!

McMan and I watching the Ducks vs. the 'Nucks

Me: Look at that creepy Sedin! He's creepy lookin! I'd punch a creepy Sedin, go ahead give me a penalty.
McMan: you'd look creepy if you had pubes on your face, too.

Panger: He tried the 'Forsburgian' move.
McMan: The 'Forsburgian' move?! What happened to the 'postage stamp' you fuck?!

Alumni Update

Well, it seems that hockey season is fast approaching. YAY! As I said when CapsChick and I were chatting it up, "If the off-season was any longer, I'd call my brother and ask him to send me an old glove to sniff."

Which brings me to the updates:

• It seems that the Houston Aeros are now the Houston "McPhizzle has a humorous anecdote about me"s... Not only do they have Clayton Stoner (former Am and good friend) and Coach Kevin Constantine (former coach of the Everett Silvertips), but they have also signed goalie (and former Spokane Chief) Barry Brust and (former Golden Gopher) Troy Riddle.
• Big Bro is now going to be playing in Europe... Something he's wanted to do for a couple years now. He's going to be playing in the UK for the Hull Stingrays and oddly enough, one of his teammates is Nikolai Ladygin (another former Am)

really? for real?

Tuesday... not usually a BAD day, per se, but this one didn't start out too hot...

I woke up late. On purpose, but late. Left the house at about 8:20 to stop in quickly at Dr. S's office and get a persecription for something to make what I thought was bronchitis go away. Get into the parking lot, slow down and stop behind a minivan that is about to park and all of a sudden, her reverse lights go on.... she starts backing up.... she ignores the sound of my blaring horn and all I hear is *crunch* well, before I said, "fucking shit" and put my car in park. No damage... And oddly enough, she was wearing one of the breast cancer awareness Ams shirts. Hmm.. Like I told McMan, "I decided not to comment on it in the fear that I'd tell her she didn't deserve to don the logo of MY team if she's going to back into me."

So, after she parks the van and i go down the few more offices and park in front of my dr's office, I go in, see the doctor and he tells me I don't have bronchitis or a sinus infection. I have asthma. Oh. Joy. And please please please tell me why it takes 20 minutes to put an inhaler together... I'm assuming they had to hand craft the plastic holder there in the pharmacy at Walgreens.

Yeah. It was an awesome morning.... and to think, I was all ready to wirte a hockey post about training camp so far.... SO i'm just going to post photos from the annual Todd Klassen Memorial Classic game, which was held at the buttcrack of dawn on Sunday. (photos by MLM photographer VonHammer)



Me singing the anthems after running around the arena... i thought they were going to re-zam the ice. oops.


Thrilling hockey action = painting the nails in the stands

NEWSBREAK!

Ok, so the title of my blog isn't exactly correct anymore. There will still be musings and they're still coming from someone radical, but technically I'm not a redhead anymore.

*pause for you to catch your breath*

I know it's a big decision, but I've been thinking about it for about a year and yesterday took the plunge into Brunettehood. I still surprise myself when i look in the mirror.

MissRoomie loves it, as does the McMan, although it took his Hetrosexual Life Partner (aka his roomie... aka MrRoomie) pointing it out for him to notice (see photos below for how redonkulous that was) - the UPS guy noticed within 10 seconds of being in my office. McMan held several conversations with me before he was tipped off.

MrRoomie: (2 seconds after seeing McP) Hey! You did something different with your hair. it looks nice!
McP: THANK YOU!
MrRoomie: Ooooh..... You're in TROUBLE!
McMan: I noticed, I just didn't say anything b/c she doesn't like it when people make a big fuss over her hair when she straightens it. (which is true - and he got brownie points for remembering that and saying it aloud)
McP: kind of fuming
MrRoomie: Dude! She changed the color of it!
McMan: She did? (looks at McP) OOPS!

Photos:


(ok, so my eyes are closed, big whoop... lol)

Warning! Funniness ahead!

My bestie Chris is my #1 guy on the myspace (and the reason i can say, "It's OK, I'm with the band.). I filled out a bulletin/survey that you will read below... following that is the hilariosity that followed:

1) Who is he?
Chris... one of my besties and former neighbor before he and his pigeon-filled BBQ moved to a land far far away. (a whole 10 minutes instead of 10 seconds)

2) Do you trust him?
More than most people I know put together

3) When’s the last time you talked to him?
Saturday while I was at Targét

4) Does he have a girlfriend?
Negatory, Ghost rider, the pattern is full.

5) Is he one of your friends?
Um, Duh?

6) Where does he live?
the Land of Rich

7) Is he older than you?
Oui

8) Are you related to him?
Nope

9) Would you do anything for him?
I would... well, short of stabbing myself in the eye with a searing hot french-fry. We'll leave that to the crazy squirrels.

10) Do you have a nickname for him?
He's listed as "Stewart" in my phone... everyone calls him Blinky, but I usually just call him Chris... Oh! Or Rabbi Herschel.

11) How long have you known him?
about 2 years now

12) Do you think he will repost this?
Most likely not, but he might read it?

He repsonded in an email to me:

12) Do you think he will repost this?
Most likely not, but he might read it? You are correct! haha. I only post bulletins when they promote shows that I'm playing... we all know that I'm egotistical like that, haha.

So I'm not hip enough to repost this, but I will email it back to you:

1) Who is she?
Merrick McP-Dizzle

2) When’s the last time you talked to her?
Earlier today

3) Do you know her middle name?
I'm going to take a guess at this one and say Zambindosiaplasopheria

4) Does she have a boyfriend?
Hmmmmm.... I think that her and Mike made it official but I've honestly never gotten the official press release on the subject.

5) Is she one of your friends?
Friends is a word that's tossed around so lightly these days. Let's just say she's my favorite daughter of Israel ;)

6) where does she live?
In reality: Washington
In her dreams: Anywheresville Canada

7) Is she older than you?
No way. I think she's 19... maybe 20... ;)

8) Would you do anything for her?
I would not stab myself in the eye with a searing hot french fry, but other than that.... yeah, pretty much.

9) Do you have a nickname for her?
Mer Dawg, Mo McPhizzle, MC McPherson,

10) How long have you known her?
approximately as long as its been since the first time I met her.

11) Do you think she will repost this?
Not a second time... or will she... I shall ponder this in greater detail on the toilet.... or I'll read Maxim.... I haven't decided yet... only time will tell.

After exchanging a couple emails about his current g/f sitch (or lack-there-of) I replied with:

There's nothing wrong with that. Hopefully she feels the same way... and if she doesn't? (well, we both know how much i think of you - you're my rabbi, for moses' sake!) it's her loss... yours too, b/c she's a great girl, but if she can't be with you right now, for whatever reason, she's the one making the decision to give up - not you.

Either way, Chin-up Herschel, you've given this your best shot and put your best yarmulke forward. If she decides to let you go, there are a lot of shiksa's in the sea, my friend.

Ok, so here's the funny part:

Well, I’m glad you think it was the right move. Your use of Yiddish in our emails is quite entertaining by the way. Let’s see if I can get this right:

Rabbi: The guy in charge of saying things like “Oy” and “What are you talking about, $3.95?! for split pea soup?”

Moses: The guy in charge of saying things like “I’m schvitzing like a mohel over here!” and inspiring Mel Brooks comedic genius.

Shvitzing: Sweating

Mohel: The guy who nips the tip!

Herschel: Yiddish translation for Christopher

Shiksa: Yiddish translation for “Perks of being in a band”

My tearful response to him:

Today, my son, You become a man!

I get back:

So what type of mitzvah would this be? Bar or bots?

and finally:

Bar is when you become a man... Bat is when you become a woman... Bots can be when you become Optimus Prime

Oh good death... THAT was a good laugh...

Oh no you di-in't!

Watching this directly after lunch is not a good thing if your tummy is full - it may or may not have brought McPhizzle to the point of almost vomiting from laughing so hard. Luckily, the flying monkies showed her the logo of the Edmonton OilKings to bring her back down.

This video is entitled "Message for Bob"



I'm not sure, but I think it might have something to do with the cutest Edmonton OilKing in the VERLD. The little gnome is onto something ;o)

O'CANADA!!!

(x-posted to Maple Leaf Mafia)

This Lactose-free Canada Day is brought to you in honour of Matty Swaby.

July 1st... The day Canada celebrates their Independance! YAY!

Headed to M.F. for a day of celebrating the Homeland. Hammer had maple cookies ready and a maple leaf flag banner up. We started the afternoon with a rousing game of NHLopoly. I would've won if I hadn't have let Hammer cheat and stay in jail in order to avoid the "ticket prices" in Ottawa with the arena built. She won. Lame. Now I know not to be so congenial.

We tagged my car with red car-chalk. Violette (my vehicle) is still proudly rockin' "CANADA DAY '07" on her back windshield.

The roster ended up beign rather full - The whole female contingent of the Maple Leaf Mafia was there (Hammer, VonHammer, Laces and McPhizzle) along with 3 of Hammer's friends and 1 little nugget named Michael - the little 18-mo.-old cutie that totally stole the show.

We all wore "Canadian leis" (aka red mardi-gras beads that left our necks pink - Mike thought I had gotten sunburned when I got home), and most of us were wearing some combination of red, black and white (we let VonHammer slide with the HNIC shirt). We also put temporary tattoos on our faces. When Laces came in she asked, "Can't I put it on my guns?" Your guns?! No, now you HAVE to put it on your face for asking that way.

Before we ate dinner, the Canadian Anthem was sung reverantly at the picnic table.

the Alberta Beef Tenderloin with Gingered Saskatoon Berry Compote was AMAZING!! As was the potato salad (in honour of PEI's 65 varieties of potaoes, of course... Who knew they had that many?! "Is there enough land to grow that many there?" "Maybe a row of each?" "We found a new variety of potato, eh!" "Well, go plant it next to the other 64, eh!").

After dinner, the fun and games began. We took a Canadian History test... We should've studied. lol. Question #15 was "Which part of the US space shuttle was designed by Canadians?" VonHammer was QUITE excited that she knew the answer and when Hammer was reading the correct answers aloud, she shouted at the top of her lungs, "ROBOTIC ARM!!!!!" which we affectionately re-named the CanadArm.

Somehow the topic of Lester B Pearson (14th Prime Minister of Canada) and how he got the nickname "Mike." Apparently "Lester" didn't sound tough enough, so they picked a new name for him. Odd little tidbit there. Apparently Mike is a tough name.

After the quiz, we started playing the "Great Canadian Adventure" board game that Hammer uses as a Friday treat in the Canadian History course she teaches.

• One of the questions Hammer gave to Laces was, "Who is the Canadian Hockey player who they call The Great One...." we all groaned and rolled our eyes at the easiness, especially since questions to the rest of us were freakin hard...
• When someone landed on a "Heroes" space, VonHammer shouted, "TERRY FOX!!!!" before her sister could even begin to read the question aloud. Hammer's response? "Great, now I have to choose a new one."
• To make up for the ease of Laces' queston, the next question posed to me was "WHo was the first Aboriginal head coach in the NHL... I matched VonHammer's intesity yelling, "TED NOLAN!!!!" (and as always, I added, "he's on LonGisland!")
• Our little nugget got to roll the large, neon pink dice for his mom and dad. He beaned Laces with it once. (a Picture Essay will follow once they are transfered onto my computer from VonHammer's camera)
• Hammer and I started fighting about how the only reason she won the NHLopoly game was b/c I let her cheat... when our voices had raised to their limit and I ran out of little sister things to say, to end the argument I said, "IT'S A GLITCH!" the laughter and thought of Brad and Vinny stopped the arguing at once.
• As the questions got harder, Hammer gave us hints... She's a master of disguising names in hints.... here are a couple examples, "It rhymes with Schmick Schmanson" (Rick Hanson), "It rhymes with Meline Sleon" (Celine Dion) and my personal favourite, "It rhymes with Muffalo." (Buffalo)

When we'd been sufficently munched on by the mosquitos, we went inside for a little chatting and so Laces and The Nugget could play a little pick-up game of carpet hockey with the pink hockey sticks I picked up at Target in the Holiest of places, the Dollar Spot. Laces' comment about her opponent, "We're about the same height, so it's ok."

While the game was going on, the father of the Nugget gave us his opinion of hockey, "They serve beer and get in fights. Its a good game."

When he finished telling us about a game he'd been to in Seattle where there were something like 8 fights and 6 were the same guy on Seattle, my comment was, "I bet his name started with a 'Z' and ended with 'ack FitGerald'."

During the conversation about that particular T-Bird, the puck went under the little breakfast nook and behind a scrapbook organizer and it turned into a scrum along the boards at my feet, so i blew the fake whistle, bent down and dropped the puck back on the playing surface. VonHammer's comment, "The Ice Girls got that one."

When it was time for the Nugget to head home, he was QUITE sad to leave the Canadian and hockey goodness. We gave him his first taste of hockey and he's hungry for more!! :) Corrupting young minds. That's what the Maple Leaf Mafia is all about.

Procrastination at it's best

Before I hunker down and get to work on my draft update, (shut up, i know i'm a slacker... a la chris farley in the Gap Girls sketch, "LAY OFF ME!") I thought I'd impart a little wisdom from one of my bestest dude friends, my dear Chad.

The talk of jubblies and shirtless men over at Sportsquee brought this to mind and made me chuckle, so I thought I'd pass it along.

This was about 4ish weeks ago and Chad, Chanel and I were sitting in a booth at a 24-hour restaurant discussing a boy I had recently taken a liking to who just happened to be a mutual friend of ours. He looked up from his plate-o-grease-soaked hashbrowns and said, "McPhizzle, How are you going to feel about dating a guy..." (insert me thinking, "with a kid" "with a drug problem" "with 4 testicles... wait, i didn't see 4...") "with bigger boobs than you?"

You see, the guy had a KILLER body - and seriously, his pecs rivaled my 34DD. Maybe it was funnier if you were there.... Yup, I think it was.

Maybe my mocking quacks were taken as encouragement..

Went to the grocery store after work. Figured that I wasn't going to want to eat a bowl of flour or sugar for dinner. Hammer and I chatted as I was waiting on line to pay, talking about how NBC was completely in LURVE wtih the Ducks, telling the audience pretty much to tune in 3hours later when the Quacks were lifting the cup. Hammer also noted that Pierre was giving handjobs to the Quacks bench between plays. I believe it.

Blog starting late tonight as I may or may not have had to be my own trainer after my thumb was attacked by a knife. There was a lot of blood lost, but I believe we have it stopped and I'll make a full recovery. Of course in the press release we'll just state that it's a hand injury and list me as day-to-day.

1st intermission... Pierre McDouche, who is obviously in love with (my husband) Mike Fisher, interviews him yet again. Hammer comments that we are going to have beautiful children and I inform her of McDouche's intentions to break up our happy home. Hammer's response was, "Pierre is an Asshat. Just incase you didn't know."
"Oh, I totally know, that's why I'm not worried about him stealing my man."

I join you just as Alfredsson scores a goal, making it 1-2... *sigh* That one was touched by an angel... a reward for (my husband)'s good behaviour.

4:16 EFF! Quacks score yet again. Well, knda... that one was scored by Phillips. Damn. It's Schmitty all over again. Lonliest man in Anaheim = Chris Phillips.

3:14 Schubert with the elbow. Way to give up, Schubert. like I just said to Hammer when she commented that the sens may have just effed themselves, "Yup, right in the pooper."

2:22 Alfie looks up at the clock and thinks, "222! Make a wish! I wish for a short-handed goal" It works.

1:32 Hopes up... and just as quickly, back down. The quack's goal goes off of Volchenkov and his shin pads. Neighbor from downstairs has probably never heard the F word screamed so loud so many times from a woman who is home all alone.

19:09 (my husband) roughs up Moen on the boards behind Emery. Me gusta.

16:17 Emery has to save The Keeper of the Brows Wade Redden's bacon. What did Emery do to all these guys? And why are (my husband) Fisher and Alfredsson the only teammates to forgive him.

Goal #5 by the quacks. There's nothing left to say.

14:12 Schubert in the box AGAIN. I'm sick to my stomach.

12:37 O. M. G. Vermette Penalty Shot. How would one say "fuck" in french? Hammer's answer, "fucque yeaux"

7:59 I don't think I've ever wanted to cry when the cup was about to be awarded before. Even in '99 I had the hope all the way up to the winning 'goal.' This is a strange feeling.

7:33 Volchenov takes a penalty. (my husband) is shown wiping his brow. The pain is showing in his eyes already. You have NOTHING to be ashamed about, you beautiful beautiful man.

4:07 Doc says that us Sens fans can take pride in the fact that they had a great year. They really did. Maybe Elgin was their good luck charm...

3:00 Nail. In. Coffin. I stopped the bleeding on my thumb, I can't stop the bleeding in the game. I'm only one nurse.

1:30 Well, if it does end up being Teemu Lightyear's last game, I guess I can't be THAT upset.

I swear to Grezky, if I hear the crowd start to chant, "We will, we will, QUACK YOU!" I will jump off of my veranda, landing face-first on Neighbor's hibachi.

With about 5 mintues left in the game, Hammer asked all of the Maple Leaf Mafia who we thought would win the Conn Smythe... I won the prize for correctly predicting Salt&Pepper Neidermeyer. What's the prize, you may ask? I get to shave his beard.

Buzz hoisting the trophy made me a little misty. I think they should skate it around the rink in the Flying V.

Bryan Burke hoisting the cup. *vomit*

Turns out "I'm Lauren's Bitch" Pronger separated his shoulder in the 1st and kept popping it back in, much like Landon Jones did the whole 2005-2006 WHL season. Then his keeper shows up on the ice with the little Pronger-nuggets and the interview comes to a hault. Hmm.. Imagine that.

The brothers Neidermeyer. That kind of was a tender moment. Brothers that look that much alike with a beard creep me out, though.

I need to put on my Oilers windshirt on and go on a walk to clear my head. Storm Schmorm, I need some fresh air.

*Le Sigh* Sens style.

Last night's game... Where to start?

(my husband) Mike Fisher - I now want to clone him, not only for myself but for the whole freaking Sens team. If it was me, I wouldn't be speaking to any of my teammates - but we all know that since it is Mike, He's in there encouraging (and praying for) every single one of them. I love that man.

Ray Muther Flinking Emery - Floppin like a fish is good... when it works... I'm assuming he's asking his Dmen if they plan on making the trip to Anaheim. Maybe even enticing them with the fact that Honda Center is located relatively close to (the holiest of all places) Disneyland.

Don Cherry - The suit was toned down, yet didn't make him look like any less of a windbag. While I respect the fact that he's a National Treasure in (the Homeland) Canada, he always annoys the crap out of me. That was, until he called MamaBear Brett Hull out about getting off Alfredsson's case on the GOAL that he scored on account of the "goal" Brett "scored" in 1999.

Hammer & McP via text on Don Cherry:
Hammer: HA! Don inviting himself back! I love it!
McP: Hahaha! NBC is shitting themselves!
Hammer: I bet they had more viewers, though. Who doesn't love Don Cherry? Ok, lots of people, but they still watch him to see what shit comes out of his yapper. :)
McP: Either that or they were wondering what in the hell Colonel Sanders has to do with Hockey.
Hammer: LOL! Exactly!

The game did bring a tender moment to Casa de McPhizzle, however. Roomie came in for the final minutes of the game. "Oh good lord! This is intense!"
"Now you know why I love hockey."
"Can we hold hands the rest of the game?"
"I thought you'd never ask."

Tender moment ended at the buzzer when I, once again, chased her from my room by dropping the Eff Sharp pretty loudly.

Game 3 jogging blog

Todd Beartuzzi and the Good Luck bear Megan sent me with the lucky CAN penny in his pocket rooting the Sens on in my absence.

Disclaimer: (Mostly to calm Roomie's fears)

I promise I'm not Teddy-obsessed. They were gifts.

After spending all day boating on the mighty Columbia River in the 100 degree (38*C for my metric friends) heat, I decided that the running blog would become a slow jog tonight. I listened to the game on the satelite radio on the boat and am now tucked securely into my bed, watching the DVR'd action.

NHL on NBC... Papa Clement, Mamabear Brett Hull and little Ray Ferraro. It's a damn good thing i like Papa bear and baby bear, because Mamabear makes me want to light my face on fire.

Pierre McGuire interviews (Margee's beloved) Heatley. He can hardly hear the bald man speak over the crowd love. I'd give my little brother's right testicle to be there. What?! He only needs one... and I'm sure his wife wouldn't mind... much...

As a vocalist, and an anthem singer, there's nothing quite like the announcer reminding you that MILLIONS of people are watching/listening/waiting for you to screw up. He did a BEAUTIFUL job on the Star Spangled Banner. It's one of the hardest songs to sing, but he did it at a great tempo and what a moving vibrato! .... And O Canada, is there a more beautiful song than that, the anthem of the Homeland? I submit that there is not.

20:00 Neil and Moen start the game off right. LOVE IT!

19:38 I still can't get over how fast these teams are when they're both at the top of their games and the height of their emotions.

17:58 Emery makes that look so simple. "No biggie, you guys. I do this every day."

16:09 And the first penalty of the game goes to..... The Keeper of the Brows, Wade Redden!

14:21 And the first goal of the game goes to...... The Anaheim Ducks? Traps McDonald? le sigh.

3:50 OTTAWA SCORES!!!! Baby Hailey's Toothless Daddy scores for the Sens. She's their new good luck charm.

1:03... name that squirt. Baby Mario. Sans Mullet.

(insert McPhizzle snoring here... Cut to 8:51PM PST on 03 JUN. Spent the day with Ma and Pa, watching the BEST LONGEST MOVIE EVER, POTC:3 and avoiding anything hockey I could as to not spoil any more of the visual action than nesseccary.)

Mom sent me home with a "Sens Rose" from the rose bush that is taking over the world. It's proudly displayed in my washroom.


1st Intermission. The Golden Child speaks. hard to believe that he's a mite under 20. What was I doing at that age? I was finishing my 2nd year of College and working at Victoria's Secret. That's the same as being the Captain of an NHL team, the league's leading scorer and up for 2 more awards, right?

"There he is, in the drapery, The legend, Don Cherry." OH Papa Clement, how I love thee. I don't know if mainstream America is ready for Don Cherry. I guess we'll find out on Monday when he joins in the NHL on NBC fun!

19:00 Strong start for Ottawa. I'm liking the way this is starting, boys. You're sparking McPhizzle's little heart.

17:56 Spezza and Pahlsson mugging it a little on the boards. You get 'im, Jason! Ooh.. the Tearaway jersey. Hammer's text, "He should just take it all off" makes a lot more sense now.

16:43 McAmmond getting that shot ahead was beauty

16:21 Jersey sharing? I wonder if he got to pick whose sweater he wanted. Or if they asked Eaves. i can see it now, just like sisters, "COACH! he took my jersey and didn't even ASK!!! You love Jason more! I knew it!"

14:40 Perry scores on a Phillips turn over. Sens didn't even realize it had gone in, they're still banging at it.

14:13 Shot from the point gets in past Giguere b/c the Quacks only had 4 skaters on the ice. Way to take advantage of that Volchenkov!

12:22 Getzlaf gets that goal back. Damnit.

10:20 Quick reaction by Giggy to direct the puck into the mesh so he could get a sip of water from his straw.

9:53 Giggy talking about Pronger. "It's nice to have him around." Of course it is. It's always better to have for you rather than against you - no one likes being elbowed in the head.

9:25 McAmmond lost showdown in practice and is now the Juice Boy. Gotta love Mike Comrie giving that bit of info to the media. :)

4:54 Are they really playing circus music behind Speedy!Spezza? Oh, NBC... *sigh*

4:21 The parade to the Penalty box continues as the puck ALMOST goes in the net... Giggy = glad there ar only 4 minutes that he has to stay in net with that brick in his hockey underwear.

3:46 Goal...??? Let's review... Alffie's trying to stop? OH yes. That would be a GOAL.

1:26 Juice boy scores!!! Well, ok, so it was Pronger, but they can't really announce that. Karma's a bitch, ain't it?

00:00 Pierre McGuire interviews (my husband) Mike Fisher. The little bruise under his left eye just adds to the love.

2nd Intermission.
MamaBear Hull is back. "That's a bad goal," he says about the Volchenkov goal. No, that was good, the Quacks just can't count - flippers don't work as well for that as fingers and toes do.

Now he's talking about the Alfredsson goal. SHUTUPSHUTUPSHUTUP! I can handle Papa Clement and Lil Ferraro, but not "Hully." "This is the Stanley cup finals!" Oh yeah? So was the 'goal' you scored in '99, asshat.

19:24 Schaeffer on the partial break from (my husband) Fisher. Again, a good start. I dig it.

17:57 Pronger lays out McAmmond with an elbow to the face and he hit his head on the ice and then on the boards. Head injuries are scary stuff, skippy. You never want to see someone on the ice like that, no matter which side they're on. NO PENALTY?! Good grief. Ok, so I know he's suspended (text from Hammer earlier today), but COME on.

17:05 Emotions are running high and Ryan Getzlaf tries to make out with (my husband) Mike Fisher, and like the gentleman he is, Mike refuses. Of course Ryan's feelings of frustration after the rejection are to be expected, but is swearing at the nice man who held back when he could've mangled your face really neccessary, Getzy? No, no it's not.

OMGSh! BABY EMERY with the BOXING GLOVES?! I want 3.

15:51 Moen tries to break and Emery flops like the miraculous fish he is to make the save. LURVE. GOALIES.

14:17 May takes a penalty. Great discipline, Quacks.

11:38 Volchenkov with number two on the evening and Goalie Quack gets a little refreshment from his straw.

10:00 This is about the time I got home and turned the game on as I was getting ready to go out to Blinky's show...

8:55 Getzlaf Loves the box AND the "F" word. I think SOMEONE has some pent-up anger about his thinning hair. Displacement isn't healthy, Ryan.

8:01 Has Teemu Lightyear been on the ice at all before now? Or was he hanging out with Woody in the locker room? What a non-presence tonight.

5:25 "I'm Lauren's Bitch" Pronger sits on the bench, showing off that gap-toothed grin. McPhizzle's nostrils flare. Not attractive, but true.

4:31 Traps McDonald revisits the 'bad boy box' for a time out because his muscular shoulders made Emery lose an edge right outside the crease. I should check the scoresheet to see if he got 2:00 for Excessive Creatine.

Well, Sens fans, they're back in it. We'll be back tomorrow night, same bat time, same bat channel.

Caption Me: Ryan Miller

"WHAT?! Everyone knows I have a mancrush on Danny Heatly. His eyes. They're so distracting."


sidebar: is it just me, the angle of the photo, or are his hands really that freakishly disproportionate to his body?

Meme yoinked from Sportsquee

"If I were a hockey player" (to the tune of "If I were a Rich Man" from Fiddler, of course)

Team: New York Islanders

Uniform number: 38

Position: back-up Goalie

Nickname: McMer, McPhizzle, Irish Iguana, Red, Cinnamon-Sugar Tits

Dream linemates: I want The Dion and Brendan Witt in front of me. hard hitters and cute as buttons

Rounding out the PP: Joe Thornton, Mike Fisher and Todd Bertuzzi (if I need to explain those choices, you obviously know nothing about me)

Job: Bench warmer and water girl. Let's face it, even if Ricky gets another concussion, they'd still pull Dubie up and I'd still just be eyecandy on the bench.

Signature move: Making kissy faces and winking at opposing players to get them off their game. The occasional boob might have to be flashed for those pesky "focused" types.

Strengths: great glove hand (that's what he said...), firey red hair, big fat mouth that's usually spewing some sort of sarcastic commentary, bedroom eyes, killer salsa-making skills, I know my way around the kitchen, and I can shake my booty with the best of them.

Weaknesses: various food/latex allergies, healthy fear of male genitalia, tendency to get heat rash under the chest protector, trick knee, I'm really unlpeasent when hungry and tired.

Equipment: pads and blocker with more stars than Ricky D; stick all done up with pink tape; Pink and Orange painted Helmet - also laden with stars; purple neck protector; no turtlenecks. period.

Nemesis: Detroit Redwings; The Martins - both Brodeur and St. Louis; the creepy creepy Sedin Twins - I refuse to look at them from the bench for fear that they will use their powers of evil to make my breasts sag like a mother of 12.

Scandal involvment: being a lovechild of a young Mark Messier; demanding to dress in the same room as the boys; changing my hair color during playoffs; my unwillingness to divulge to the media whether or not i have a 'playoff beard'

Who I'd face in the Stanley Cup Finals: If I'm in net? The Blackhawks... I'll give me a fighting chance.

What I'd do with the Stanley Cup after our victory: Take it to an Ams game so that a certain someone could stop gloating, drink an enormous shirley temple out of it (lots of extra cherries) and then when my sugar crashed, sleep with it. Naked. Spooning my picks for linemates of course. (Well, at least DiPi, Fish, Joe and The Dion - something tells me I don't want to mess with Julie Bertuzzi)

Would the media love me or hate me: Love me. Really? Did you even have to ask? I'm a smooth talker, funny as hell and cute as a button. Plus, I make for some interesting highlights on Spotscenter.