AAAND on a happier note...

After chatting with Hammer a bit tonight, I feel much better about cracking under the pressure of Fred the GD Tumor tonight. Especially after realizing that even Cindy Crosby the Human cracks from time to time... even though, as Hammer pointed out, he copes by extreme amounts of exercise and i cope by eating too much teriyaki and drinking copious amounts of splenda-sweetened iced tea.

Without further ado, I give you the "Quotes of the Night" from the 2nd Annual Maple Leaf Mafia Canada Day Celebration.

Quotes from the NHL Monopoly pre-party:

"It's the Ryan Getzlaf House of Hairy Teeth and Balding" - Hammer re: Anaheim

"He looks like Bob the Builder!" - McP
"I fucking love it." - Hammer
re: Drayson Bowman in the Yellow Hard Hat

"It's the no juice juice." - Hammer re: KoolAid

"No one else likes playing Monopoly because they're sucky suckholes." - Hammer

Quotes from the Party:

"Put that wang away!" - SlutBucket

"Guess we're going to Dairy Queen." - SlutBucket re: Hammer forgetting about the grill

"I took her under my stinky armpit years ago." - Hammer re: Glitter being one of her former students.

"We almost had to stay in the Dalles!" - The Lumberjack on the commute from Portland to the party

"Did you take the wrapper off?" - everyone
"Ok, it's officially funny." - VonHammer re:Canadian Pride tattoos.

"WHO SHIT?!?!?!" - Hammer Re: Pims and Jake leaving presents upstairs

"Fuck off with the CanadArm!" - Hammer during the Great Canadian Board Game

"We didn't even have alcohol at that party. It was just funny!" - Hammer re: 'it rhymes with muffalo!"

"Two words, it rhymes with Paint Johns." - Hammer

"Fuck off! ... neh... I don't owe you anything!" - VonHammer re: helping the Lunberjack win the game

"My favorite people are here with no underware." - Hammer re: the dogs and McP

"Schon of a Bitcsch." - Hammer & McP doing their best Bryan Murray

"WHO shit in my kitchen!?" - Hammer

"PIMS! That's MY snow cone! Now it has dog slobber in it! You're lucky I'm drunk and don't care!" - Hammer

"Did you have a nice shit on my floor?" - Hammer to the dogs

"I'm not sure..." - SlutBucket
"Oh come on, it's the internet, what could go wrong?!" - Hammer

The party that never was...

That never was.

That's right. Spa Party to break in my new digs? Who showed up? Let's make a list:

Ma
McP
Agnus Muffin Mary Pat Kate Frances McPhizzle
Sensaria rep. aka spa lady

Yup. That's it. I had 5 positive RSVPs and 3 maybes. Ma, who has been ill with salmonella poisoning, was not on that list. She just came to order and go home.

Here are some photos to show what everyone missed.



My punkin that's carved with leaves and acorns and polkadots.


The set-up on the piano... there were tealights in the ladles.


the luminaries on the table welcoming all my guests in


The buffet. Salsa & chips, crunchy artichoke hearts, cheese and salami and caramel corn.


The set-up on the entertainment center.


Agnus. She's cute. i love her.

It's a Hot Day, Charlie Brown

Good grief. I was gonna update on the 4th (since i spent it at 2 different shindigs with 2 different hockey families), but it's flipping 108* outside.

ONE HUNDRED AND EIGHT!

I walked outside to turn the sprinklers on and it felt like I had opened the oven to check and see if the cookies were burnt.

Only 30 min until I blow this popsicle stand and grab my bikini on the way to Mike's to spend the evening in his pool. Oh, cold, chlorine-y goodness, I hear you calling my name. I'll be there soon.... And speaking of popsicles, i hope Mike has a grape one left... YUM.