Game 3 jogging blog

Todd Beartuzzi and the Good Luck bear Megan sent me with the lucky CAN penny in his pocket rooting the Sens on in my absence.

Disclaimer: (Mostly to calm Roomie's fears)

I promise I'm not Teddy-obsessed. They were gifts.

After spending all day boating on the mighty Columbia River in the 100 degree (38*C for my metric friends) heat, I decided that the running blog would become a slow jog tonight. I listened to the game on the satelite radio on the boat and am now tucked securely into my bed, watching the DVR'd action.

NHL on NBC... Papa Clement, Mamabear Brett Hull and little Ray Ferraro. It's a damn good thing i like Papa bear and baby bear, because Mamabear makes me want to light my face on fire.

Pierre McGuire interviews (Margee's beloved) Heatley. He can hardly hear the bald man speak over the crowd love. I'd give my little brother's right testicle to be there. What?! He only needs one... and I'm sure his wife wouldn't mind... much...

As a vocalist, and an anthem singer, there's nothing quite like the announcer reminding you that MILLIONS of people are watching/listening/waiting for you to screw up. He did a BEAUTIFUL job on the Star Spangled Banner. It's one of the hardest songs to sing, but he did it at a great tempo and what a moving vibrato! .... And O Canada, is there a more beautiful song than that, the anthem of the Homeland? I submit that there is not.

20:00 Neil and Moen start the game off right. LOVE IT!

19:38 I still can't get over how fast these teams are when they're both at the top of their games and the height of their emotions.

17:58 Emery makes that look so simple. "No biggie, you guys. I do this every day."

16:09 And the first penalty of the game goes to..... The Keeper of the Brows, Wade Redden!

14:21 And the first goal of the game goes to...... The Anaheim Ducks? Traps McDonald? le sigh.

3:50 OTTAWA SCORES!!!! Baby Hailey's Toothless Daddy scores for the Sens. She's their new good luck charm.

1:03... name that squirt. Baby Mario. Sans Mullet.

(insert McPhizzle snoring here... Cut to 8:51PM PST on 03 JUN. Spent the day with Ma and Pa, watching the BEST LONGEST MOVIE EVER, POTC:3 and avoiding anything hockey I could as to not spoil any more of the visual action than nesseccary.)

Mom sent me home with a "Sens Rose" from the rose bush that is taking over the world. It's proudly displayed in my washroom.


1st Intermission. The Golden Child speaks. hard to believe that he's a mite under 20. What was I doing at that age? I was finishing my 2nd year of College and working at Victoria's Secret. That's the same as being the Captain of an NHL team, the league's leading scorer and up for 2 more awards, right?

"There he is, in the drapery, The legend, Don Cherry." OH Papa Clement, how I love thee. I don't know if mainstream America is ready for Don Cherry. I guess we'll find out on Monday when he joins in the NHL on NBC fun!

19:00 Strong start for Ottawa. I'm liking the way this is starting, boys. You're sparking McPhizzle's little heart.

17:56 Spezza and Pahlsson mugging it a little on the boards. You get 'im, Jason! Ooh.. the Tearaway jersey. Hammer's text, "He should just take it all off" makes a lot more sense now.

16:43 McAmmond getting that shot ahead was beauty

16:21 Jersey sharing? I wonder if he got to pick whose sweater he wanted. Or if they asked Eaves. i can see it now, just like sisters, "COACH! he took my jersey and didn't even ASK!!! You love Jason more! I knew it!"

14:40 Perry scores on a Phillips turn over. Sens didn't even realize it had gone in, they're still banging at it.

14:13 Shot from the point gets in past Giguere b/c the Quacks only had 4 skaters on the ice. Way to take advantage of that Volchenkov!

12:22 Getzlaf gets that goal back. Damnit.

10:20 Quick reaction by Giggy to direct the puck into the mesh so he could get a sip of water from his straw.

9:53 Giggy talking about Pronger. "It's nice to have him around." Of course it is. It's always better to have for you rather than against you - no one likes being elbowed in the head.

9:25 McAmmond lost showdown in practice and is now the Juice Boy. Gotta love Mike Comrie giving that bit of info to the media. :)

4:54 Are they really playing circus music behind Speedy!Spezza? Oh, NBC... *sigh*

4:21 The parade to the Penalty box continues as the puck ALMOST goes in the net... Giggy = glad there ar only 4 minutes that he has to stay in net with that brick in his hockey underwear.

3:46 Goal...??? Let's review... Alffie's trying to stop? OH yes. That would be a GOAL.

1:26 Juice boy scores!!! Well, ok, so it was Pronger, but they can't really announce that. Karma's a bitch, ain't it?

00:00 Pierre McGuire interviews (my husband) Mike Fisher. The little bruise under his left eye just adds to the love.

2nd Intermission.
MamaBear Hull is back. "That's a bad goal," he says about the Volchenkov goal. No, that was good, the Quacks just can't count - flippers don't work as well for that as fingers and toes do.

Now he's talking about the Alfredsson goal. SHUTUPSHUTUPSHUTUP! I can handle Papa Clement and Lil Ferraro, but not "Hully." "This is the Stanley cup finals!" Oh yeah? So was the 'goal' you scored in '99, asshat.

19:24 Schaeffer on the partial break from (my husband) Fisher. Again, a good start. I dig it.

17:57 Pronger lays out McAmmond with an elbow to the face and he hit his head on the ice and then on the boards. Head injuries are scary stuff, skippy. You never want to see someone on the ice like that, no matter which side they're on. NO PENALTY?! Good grief. Ok, so I know he's suspended (text from Hammer earlier today), but COME on.

17:05 Emotions are running high and Ryan Getzlaf tries to make out with (my husband) Mike Fisher, and like the gentleman he is, Mike refuses. Of course Ryan's feelings of frustration after the rejection are to be expected, but is swearing at the nice man who held back when he could've mangled your face really neccessary, Getzy? No, no it's not.

OMGSh! BABY EMERY with the BOXING GLOVES?! I want 3.

15:51 Moen tries to break and Emery flops like the miraculous fish he is to make the save. LURVE. GOALIES.

14:17 May takes a penalty. Great discipline, Quacks.

11:38 Volchenkov with number two on the evening and Goalie Quack gets a little refreshment from his straw.

10:00 This is about the time I got home and turned the game on as I was getting ready to go out to Blinky's show...

8:55 Getzlaf Loves the box AND the "F" word. I think SOMEONE has some pent-up anger about his thinning hair. Displacement isn't healthy, Ryan.

8:01 Has Teemu Lightyear been on the ice at all before now? Or was he hanging out with Woody in the locker room? What a non-presence tonight.

5:25 "I'm Lauren's Bitch" Pronger sits on the bench, showing off that gap-toothed grin. McPhizzle's nostrils flare. Not attractive, but true.

4:31 Traps McDonald revisits the 'bad boy box' for a time out because his muscular shoulders made Emery lose an edge right outside the crease. I should check the scoresheet to see if he got 2:00 for Excessive Creatine.

Well, Sens fans, they're back in it. We'll be back tomorrow night, same bat time, same bat channel.

Calder Cup Game 1

WOOHOO!!! Hamilton Bulldogs win it 4-0! Our little Pricey faced and saved 46 shots. FORTY-SIX SHOTS. Of course, he was the First Star. Someone give that kid a cookie. A big one. Better yet, Carey, I'm sending you a whole friggin pan of brownies. Wait a minute... he's in Canada - I'm sending him a bottle of Jack.

It's been quite a while since we've had one of our boys do so well so fresh out of our system. *sniff sniff* look how much he's grown!!!


2003-2004 season3rd Star after winning game against the Brandon Wheatkings( picture of a picture - I knew I'd regret getting rid of my scanner... )

Paternity...

Paternity is a foul word in the locker room of any sport, but today, ladies and germs, (much like every day) I'm talking about hockey. It has been scientifically proven that hockey players make the best lovers due to their conditioning and the core strength it takes to play the sport on skates. As we all know, most hockey players take full advantage of the vagina that is being thrown at them from every direction - and really? Who can blame them - well, the young, unmarried players, at least...

I remember a couple times being at the dinner table with my brother and his teammates and saying that puckbunnyX was pregnant - someone's eyes would resemble that of a deer in headlights until I soothed their fear by saying, "No, it's her boyfriend's." Their reaction is perfectly justified. In my town alone we have at least 4 children of pro-hockey players that were concieved while those men were playing juniors (note: that figure doesn't include the 2 NHLers that live here in the off-season with their families).

That all being said, I've had some questions about my reference in my Game 2 entry, where Ma McP and I both referenced my dad. I guess I should give a brief explaination. (WARNING: Daddy issues ahead)

Half of my DNA has never really been a part of my life. Ma McP and I left him when I was a wee tot b/c of substance abuse problems and heck, if she could support the 3 of us, she could sure as shootin' support 2. Both mine and Sister's mom remarried and we have great Step-dads...

So as we (Sister and I) were watching the 2004 All-Star game, we realized that Marky-Mark Messier was old enough to be our father. We also realized that if our dad wasn't going to sack up and be part of our lives, we might as well claim someone that we actually liked and had a REASON to be across the country. Therefore, from that moment on, we claimed Mr. Mark Messier as our (fake)father.

Both of our moms are ok with it, since they don't like our real dad, anyway. I'm sure Mark would be pretty creeped out - as I'm sure anyone who didn't have a sense of humor would be as they read this. However, if you're reading this, Mr. Messier, it really is meant as an honour to you and a HUGE family joke. A father is someone who you can admire and look up to, laugh at their lame jokes and listen to the stories of when he was young and learn from their mistakes. Since we don't have one like that, we take those things from you. Oh, and don't worry, we're both intellegent, beautiful, young women with educations and jobs.

It's just a talent I have, I guess...

First it was this...

"Shhh... I know, baby. I know."

And now it's this. Now, I'm not a huge fan of Perez anymore - he's just getting too mean for my tastes, but Sister pointed it out to me. (it's not like we didn't know JC was a little 'curious' but just like with my LanceyPants, it's nice to at least have the illusion of a fantasy left.)

Here's the convo that lead to my 'le sigh'

Sister: Oh! My! Gosh! lol Have you seen perez yet?
McP: no, but i shall... front page?
Sister: Yeah...jc story
McP: omg I turn them all
Sister: Did you find it? lol
McP: [current-flame] is going to come out in the Fall
Sister: Shutup!
McP: and [former-flame] is going to end up marrying [sister's 'curious' ex]
Sister: Oh fuck! Lmao!
McP: maybe i should invest in a self-cleaning llitter box and a scratching pole for all of the cats i'm going to end up with
Sister: LOL I know right....
Sister: That would be a hot couple though
McP: no shit

Game 2 Running Blog

This whole 8pm EST start time is not making this West Coast 9-5'er a very happy girl. Luckily I had Sherry's liveblog to help me get my Sens mojo going before I left the office.

Laughed with Mo on the phone while I cooked dinner went through the drive-thru and drove home. I decided not to start blogging until after I finished my low cal meal.

1:53 OH. MY. GAH. Michael. Fisher. Normally I'm against retalitory penalties, but Ho.Ly. I need to move along...

1:28 Text message recieved from Momma McPhizzle, "Your husband is such a Brute! And so cute when he's mad!"

5:58pm Chris Simpson interviewing Teemu Lightyear. I don't like him with the beard. He should shave it. Because I said so.

6:01pm Text #2 from Ma McP, "Your dad is looking good tonite. Hot is the word, I think!" HA! Well, Ma, now we know how I got here.

6:03pm Dad picks Chris Chelios as his Leader of the year. Good call. He's like a freakin timex... Still tickin.

6:11pm They keep showing Mike's tantrum. I do believe McPhizzle will have to put him to bed when he gets home. ("So THAT'S what the kids are calling it these days.")

10:00 Why aren't people speaking up more about the goaltending in this series? Half-way through the 2nd and they're still tied at 0-0

6:30pm "Wyann Smyff!" He's wearing blue.... Maybe foreshadowing of him re-signing with the Isles? Please?

7:05 Is it wrong that I love watching Emery flop like a fish? Or that I REALLY wish Priessing was still a Shark?

6:18 "Neidermeyer to Neidermeyer" teehee... all i can think of is Knob Hockey.

2:40 Finally back to watching the game after Roomie (who is hopped up on diet pills) called and yapped about her office drama for a good 5 minutes.

0:44.2 the orange Home Depot Power Play flag is REALLY distracting. Why didn't they just make it sparkly?

0:24 Traps McDonald with the hook. He kind of looks like the Dbag I've been playing hard-to-get with over the past year. That makes me like him even less.

6:52pm Papa Clement says he'd give the first star to Emery. FINALLY! THANK YOU!

6:58pm If I hear this Absolut Vodka ad (the one with the muther effing pillow fight riot) one more time, I'm going to beat my TV with a wine and cheese baguette.

6:59pm Welcome to the States - we give more face-time to SnoopDog in a Ducks sweater than the actual game. Apparently Hockey is a G-thing. Makes me thirsty for some Gin and Juice.

18:07 I'm sitting on my bed and yelling "GO GO GO GO!!!" like I'm on the US Women's Olympic Curling team when Roomie walks in. She feels the need to over-exagerate my Minnesota-tinted accent. I tend to love her.

16:37 I. Love. My. Goalie. Ray mudder flinking Emery.

14:34 OH fisticuffs. (Margee's beloved) Heatley and Pahlsson chipping at eachother as they're both trying to leave the ice, a pileup on the boards. I love hockey.

5:44 (Margee's beloved) Heatley turns the puck over and Pahlsson scores. McPhizzle yells, "EXPLITIVE!" and Roomie quietly leaves the room in fear.

3:01 I'm standing next to my bed making incoherant loud noises every time the sens get the puck near Giguere. I'm sure the downstairs neighbors of Casa De McPhizzle are wondering what kind of sexual exploits are going on.

00:00 It's time to clean the bedroom and pop some food in the crock pot while Roomie and I go on our nightly hike around the sub-division. Hopefully I'll be sound asleep by the time (my husband) Mike Fisher gets home. Something tells me he's not going to be in his normal love of a self.

Oh good grief!

Looks like Clay and Shawn will be riding home in wet gear after losing games next season if they don't make the Wild Roster.

Oh well... at least I wont have to see him across the rink anymore - and maybe we'll have a shot at 1st in the division. Maybe. lol .... (I doubt Hamilton would give Carey back...)


KEVIN CONSTANTINE IS AEROS’ NEW HEAD COACH

Minnesota native has seven NHL seasons, IHL championship to his credit

HOUSTON, Texas – Kevin Constantine, a former runner-up for the National Hockey League’s Coach of the Year honor, has been named the head coach of the American Hockey League’s Houston Aeros, the team announced Tuesday. Constantine spent the last four seasons as head coach of the Western Hockey League’s Everett Silvertips. The announcement was made by Minnesota Wild President/General Manager Doug Risebrough. The Aeros are the Wild's primary developmental affiliate.

“A development team requires a leader who will teach the players the game, while at the same time instilling the discipline, accountability and hard work required to play in the NHL for this organization,” Minnesota Wild Assistant General Manager/Aeros General Manager Tom Lynn said. “Kevin has a demonstrated record of all of these elements. In addition, he has had success coaching at all levels of hockey, and in particular in developing younger players.”

Constantine, 48 (12/27/58), has been behind the bench as a head coach for more than 1,000 combined games, presiding over teams in the United States Hockey League (USHL), International Hockey League (IHL), National Hockey League (NHL) and Western Hockey League (WHL).

The native of International Falls, Minn., accrued a 159-153-66 mark in seven National Hockey League seasons with San Jose, Pittsburgh and New Jersey. Two seasons after helping Kansas City claim the International Hockey League’s Turner Cup championship in 1991-92, Constantine took over a Sharks team that won just 11 games the previous season. Constantine led San Jose to a 33-35-16 record in 1993-94 and a first-round upset of Detroit in the Western Conference Quarterfinals. He was the runner-up to current Minnesota Wild head coach Jacques Lemaire for the Jack Adams Trophy as the NHL’s top coach, after the Sharks improved a league-record 58 points. Constantine is the only NHL coach to ever lead a pair of eight seeds over a No. 1 seed, having also led Pittsburgh over New Jersey in 1998-99.

Constantine joined expansion Everett in 2003-04 and led the Silvertips to a 162-106-20 mark in four seasons. Everett won division titles in three of his four seasons there, and advanced to the WHL Final in its inaugural season, helping Constantine land Coach of the Year honors. In 2006-07, Constantine led the Silvertips to a 54-15-1-2 record and a berth in the Western Conference Semifinals. Among the players under Constantine’s tutelage in Washington have been Ondrej Fiala, the Wild’s second-round pick (No. 40 overall) in the 2006 NHL Entry Draft, and Peter Mueller, the eighth-overall pick by Phoenix in 2006.

In two seasons with Kansas City, Constantine’s Blades went 102-48-14. Constantine has also served as an assistant coach with NHL Calgary, IHL Kalamazoo, and as head coach of North Iowa and Rochester of the United States Hockey League. Constantine also founded the North American Hockey League’s Pittsburgh Forge in 2001. The Forge compiled an 80-24-8 record in his two seasons there. Eighteen Forge players earned Division I scholarships.

Constantine played amateur hockey at Rensselaer Polytechnic Institute in upstate New York and was Montreal’s ninth-round pick (No. 154 overall) in the 1978 NHL Amateur Draft.

Cosntantine has three sons: Mathew, Jeffrey and Nicholas.

Game 1 running Blog

Wow... fast start... I can't remember seeing hockey this fast... maybe it's the break...

First goal Ottawa! YESSSS!!!! what great persistance to get that in...

The Sens defence is kicking ass. no shots on that first PP for the ducks. i lke it, boys, coach mer says keep it up

Gotta admit, Jiggy is looking pretty good. Damn.

When May was exchanging words with the Sens bench my mom's Fisher quote was, "My mother-in-law is going to eat your liver!"

MacDonald and his traps scored a goal. he can't even raise his arms all the way to celebrate.

Nice clothesline on Comrie, Jackman... this game/series is going to get UGLY... i should've figured with two super physical teams... but that was a stupid penalty

Teemu "Buzz Lightyear" Selanne is looking on top of his game. As much as I'm tooting for the Sens, he catches my eyeballs... he really wants "to go to infinity and beyond."

Ok, boys. 30 seconds left before you can get back into the locker room and pull your heads out of your asses, and come back in the 2nd with the same intensity you had in the 1st 1/2 of the period

(dinner break)

5 on 3... little bit of a disciplinary breakdown, eh, mr ducksworth?

RE: the 5 on 3 & Emery's disappearing act from the crease...
Hammer: I bet Brian Burke just shit a brick.
McP: I hope it hurt
Hammer: LOL No kidding. Asshat.
(insert him moving out of goal)
McP: Check that. I just shit a brick.
Hammer: so did Ray Emery.

Paulsson drives me nuts. i'm sure if he was on a team i liked he'd be one of my favorites, but since he's on the opposing team, i dislike his chippy play with a great intensity.

Hammer: I'm hope Murray and his lisp are on the press conference. "Thisch schaushce isch scho scho."
McP: Haha! Fischer'sch firscht goal was crucschial.

There's gotta be a picture of Mrs. Neidermeyer in the box... those boys have been in there a lot.

Number of bricks now in Emery's hockey underware = 3.

The shout heard round the Ranch when the Quacks scored #3... "NOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! EEEEEFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF!!!!!!!!" ...... Followed by my mother calling me by my full name. oops.

Pronger wants to make out with Heatly.... Wonder if his wife will make him sit out the next game.

Karma's a bitch, eh, Chris? 19:16 in the box. As Jen said, "Burke having brick diarrhea."

Damnit. Quack quack quack quack, Mr. Ducksworth.

The end.
back to the Sopranos Marathon on A&E.

Feminist-ish rant.

Tipped off by Shmee at HLOG, I read about this little tidbit of ickiness...

No way to treat a lady: Red Wings fans get passionate (and nasty) when someone picks against their team, but the real anger should be aimed at Detroit's owner.

Please tell me why people are still this think this way? For real?! It's insane in this day and age that someone would actually send that to her. And mean it.

I like to think of myself as a forward-thinking woman. And even though I live on the "conservative" side of my state and aspire to be a housewife and mother of a small hockey team someday, it's hard to believe that there are people out there who still believe that's all women are good for and actually vocalize it. (Let alone are literate enough to use a computer and compose an e-mail)

(Okay, so, my Grandpa A. thought that way, but he was an old, stubborn, southern mule -may he rest in peace- and he only expressed those thoughts to the male members of the family because he also while he thought women should be at home, he respected them for everything they did there. Oh, that and he knew that his crazy red-headed granddaughter could and would tear him to shreds in an argument.)

I guess the point of my post is that people are asshats. Which we already knew. I knew more about hockey than 90% of the guys I went to high school with - hell, I know more about hockey than 70% of the guys I hang out with now... Just because I'm a woman - an extremely feminine woman at that - doesn't mean that I don't know the game or that I don't have valid and informed opinions about it. Also, just because I'm not a fan of a particular player or team doesn't mean I can't see their strengths and weaknesses.

Hockey means a lot to me, it's a big part of my life. It's entertainment, it's fellowship, it's emotional, it's a family. But I don't let it take my life over to the point of verbally assaulting another human being.

OH sweet Jeebus...

When choosing a team to post about over at HLOG, I had two choices, since the Sens positions were filled. The Sharks or the Islanders. Being over here on the West Coast, not having Center Ice and because there is a slim to none chance that there would be a time where the Islanders were playing in Vancouver when I could get up there (without tons of missed work and/or the pass being closed), I chose the Sharks. Ok, so admitedly, I'm a relatively new Sharks fan. (I came over as a part of the deal for Joe Thornton) But they're easily caught on Versus, and as the Roomie said a couple weeks ago before they were ousted, "Because they're your Sharks, you know everything about them." Touchét, Roomie, touchét.

It now seems as though my choice was even more appropriate than I first thought. As we all know (or maybe don't) the big broseph plays for the Utah Grizzlies of the ECHL. Mom called me this morning to tell me of some affiliation news...

It has come to the attention of McPhizzle that the Grizz are now affiliated with the NYI, therefore completely hindering her ablility to not be totally giddy about everything Islanders in a little-sister, completely defensive kind of way.

The funny thing is that when we went to see him play with Lethbridge up in Cranny back in 2003, the Islanders were scouting him. My mother is now convinced that her first-born is going to the show. We'll see, Ma... We'll see.

SO! Here's me raising my overly-large water glass at my desk to the big bro and his Grizzly career, may it continue all the way to where it should've been years ago.... and may he stay out of the Minneapolis/St. Paul police reports this summer to do so.

Godspeed, Little Man

Three-year-old succumbed to cancer two hours after his favourite team won


Mike said they'd get the cup for you. Put in a good word with the Big Guy for them, ok? Who am I kidding, you so already have.
Have fun in Heaven, Little Man.

Why am I having such a hard time with this? Children die every day, which is devistating, I'm not trying to say it's not... I deal with death on a daily basis. It's my business... and before that, when I was helping bring life into the world, I still had to deal with it. It's a part of life. I'm not afraid of it, I know the little guy is in Heaven now and not in pain anymore.

The sadness of the death of a child is someting that touches quite close to home. People would think my parents were nutty if I said that I was one of 14 children. Explaining that I'm one of 10 biological children with one adopted brother, one step-brother and one half-sister is still a lot of kids... until I explain that I'm the only one of the 10 biological children to survive.

Maybe it's that I'm sad he'll never get to grow up. But he did make an impact on Ottawa and the hockey world. I wonder a lot what my siblings would've been like, how our lives would've been different, if I'd even be here - after all my twin and I were numbers 4&5, I believe. Or if the world would've been able to handle two of me.

At least I have comfort in the knowledge that everything happens for a reason.

Playoffs of days gone by...

I remember it like it was yesterday. I tuned in to game 6 of the Stanley Cup Final between the Dallas Stars and the Buffalo Sabres on June 19, 1999. I, of course, was cheering for Stu Barnes of the Sabres.

I had a firey hatred for the Stars, almost equal to the hatred I had/have for the Wings. Not only were they the favorite team of the guy that dumped me a few months before, but their star player was Brett Hull. Cocky, loudmouthed, goal scorer. Normally I would've been throwing my panties his direction (well, if he was better looking...), but there's something about the man that rubs my fur the wrong way.

My eyes were glued to the TV and I was oblivious to everything going on around me. A boy started talking to me. I was too engrosed in the on-ice action to notice how attractive he was. How was I supposed to know that he would end up being my first love and we'd spend the next 3 years together? but that's neither here nor there.
"What are you watching?"
Still focused intently on the game, I answered, "Game 6 of the Stanley Cup Finals. Third Overtime. Stars are up 3-2 in the series."
"What's the score?"
Insert my 'wtf' face here, "It's Tied."
"Obviously." He laughed.
"One-One."
"Who are you cheering for?"
"Sabres. Hate the Stars."
Catching on that I'm not a huge talker during OT, "Great. Me too."

It was right about then that Brett Hull scored the game-winning 'goal.' I stood up and shouted at the TV, "NO! NO! HIS FOOT WAS IN THE CREASE! NO GOAL! HIS FOOT WAS IN... they're hoisting the cup. No. NO! SUCK IT! Suck it, Brett Hull!" (and yes, any of you who are familiar with the former WWF, I included the DX motion of crossed arms with the pelvic thrust)

It was right then that he proposed marriage to me. I believe his words were, "You know hockey, hate the stars AND you watch wrestling? You are quite possibly the perfect woman! Someday you will marry me."

Oh, how things change in 8 years. I learned a lot from him (one thing being to never date a Blackhawks fan) but haven't spoken to him in about four years. I hear he's in Texas - I think San Antonio. I no longer have a hatred for the Stars, in fact, I want to shrink Marty Turco down to a size where I can carry him around in my purse all the time, and the only time I have to see Brett Hull is when he's having his little lovers quarrells with Ray Ferraro on the NHL on NBC with Papa Clement there to keep them from having make-up sex right there on the newsdesk.

Caption Me: Ryan Miller

"WHAT?! Everyone knows I have a mancrush on Danny Heatly. His eyes. They're so distracting."


sidebar: is it just me, the angle of the photo, or are his hands really that freakishly disproportionate to his body?

Eastern Conference Champions!

Perfect morning for hockey. I woke up early and helped Roomie look like a Barbie - she even asked me to do her hair for the pageant itself. Might as well, since I'm opting out of actually going.

So there I was, sitting in my living room in my over-stuffed chair while Roomie was at her pageant contestant meeting, sipping tea and getting ready to watch the love of my playoff life, Mike Fisher, play game 5 of the Eastern Conference Semi-Finals. I thought to myself, THIS is perfection.

I started taking notes to make a post filled with all the hockey goodness from the game and then Roomie came home and started filling me in on everything that went on at the meeting, so that stopped. I can't watch hockey, listen AND type a the same time - I'm only one woman.

So, here's what I got down:

Buffalo's third-jerseys drive me batty. I'm not quite sure why, but they make me angry.

Ottawa seems to want it more. They're limiting the Sabres chances and ... (i didn't finish that thought. I think that's when Roomie walked in.)

Paul Gaustad Vs Mike Fisher... That's a good-looking battle.

Roy's hooking penalty - "oh fuck off!" HA love it! The joys of lip reading... not like it'd be hard to guess what they were saying.

That's where it ended. i'm pretty sure that's when I pressed record on the DVR and went to Target and the Pageant Closet with Roomie, only to come home to watch the end of the game - oh wait, no, the Preakness pre-show. Grr. Turns out they switched it to VS, so I wouldn't have gotten the celebration saved to the harddrive of my Dish anyway. L-A-M-E, NBC. LAME.

Will the hoisting of the PofW trophy be a precursor to the end of the next series the Sens enter into? Or did they jinx it? I'm hoping for the first.

Supernatural Apartment

Setting: My apt.

Time: approx 1945 PST

Roomie and I had taken little cat naps in our big chairs in the living room. When our neighbor came and knocked on the door to invite us to dinner, she woke up - when she closed the door, I woke up. She told me about how she had this dream that there were two guys here and i was telling her that they were hunting evil spirits, and that Maggie and I (ps- we dont know a maggie) were slayers and were going to hunt a spirit with them.

Cut to

Time: approx 2230 PST

Roomie and I had been in the living room for a good 5 minutes - possibly longer. Seriously. Neither of us had even set foot near the kitchen. Scout's honor. She got off the phone with a friend and looked at the garbage can... it has one of those swinging lids on it... it was swinging. a lot. like someone had just thrown something away.
Roomie pointed it out... which freaked me out... which made her scream, "YOU BROUGHT EVIL SPIRITS HOME!"
My reply was raising my hands and saying,"I claim this apartment in the name of Jesus Christ!"
Which made her run around my chair over to the wall of the dining area, remove the iron cross off the wall, run into the kitchen and hold it out to the garbage can, screaming, "EVIL SPIRITS BE GONE!" She brought the cross back to my chair and put it on the arm, "Keep this here for protection."
So she went into her bathroom to get ready to meet up with her friends at the Towne Crier and she lifted up her arm and there was this mysterious blue mark on the under-part of her upper arm that took us 5 mintues of scrubbing to remove, "I've been MARKED!!! You brought them here! We haven't had crazy shit happen the whole time we've lived together and then you start watching this freaky-ass show and... Well LOOK!"

It's that time of year again...

That's right, ladies of the Greater Mid-Columbia, It's May and that means that very soon, Arthur E. Fuller Auditorium will be filled with girls all vying for the title of Miss Tri-Cities and a chance to represent our region at the 2008 Miss Washington Scholarship Pageant, a preliminary to Miss America.

This year will be a bit different than those of years past. McPhizzle has hung up her acrylic heels, put her sequins into a garment bag and accepted her last silver tray. Someone else will be called as the winner of Miss Congeniality this year b/c McPhizzle is now too old to win the crown - or anything else for that matter.

Since everyone has been abuzz about it lately and the Roomie already has all of her wardrobe picked out and her talent piece memorized, I've been taking a few trips down memory lane.

Filling out a questionaire for the HLOG, something from my interview for Miss TC '04 came to mind. I'd bet that a good 5 minutes of that 10 minute interview was about hockey in some way, shape or form.

I remember them asking me why I wanted to go into Hockey Broadcasting.
"Why not get paid to do two of my favorite things? Watch hockey and talk."

There aren't many female broadcasters in sports. Can you name one you look up to?
Totally forgetting about Phyllis George, a former Miss America and a former correspondant for Monday Night Football, my answer was, "I don't think we should put gender limitations on who we look up to and want to be like. My favorite broadcaster is Barry Melrose. He's got lots of experience with the game and has no problem stating his opinions with elloquence and a little bit of humor. Plus he's got some of the best hair out there, which I think we have in common."
*insert judges laughter*

Why hockey?
"I've grown up around it. It's the one sport that I know everything about and don't have to ask any questions about the rules, regulations or play. It's full of strength and grace."

Grace? I've never heard it described like that before.
"Think about it. Burley men, gliding on thin blades on a thin sheet of ice. Passing the puck, tape-to-tape. Fluid motions, Miraculous saves by the goalies. Oh, and then there are the bone-crushing hits. Also a big crowd pleaser."

Speaking of bone-crushing hits, There was a game earlier this year in which someone from the Vancouver team broke someone's neck. What do you say to people who ask if this sport is too violent?
"I was actually watching that game, and the game before it where the injured player, Steve Moore, took a cheap shot at the Vancouver Captain, Marcus Naslund. Todd Bertuzzi, the accused, is my very favorite player - I even recieved an autographed jersey for Christmas last year. The game you're asking about was way out of hand in the first period and the officials should've been handing out penalties to both teams long before the incident occurred. To those people who are judging the entire sport on this one game, I say it's not a common occurrance and these kind of actions are not sanctioned by the league, which is why Todd got such a hefty suspension. With everything, you have to take the good with the bad, it's just sad that in this case, the bad - two overly emotional teams who were poorly refereed - ended up costing a young man his career."

Damn, I'm good.

SPN Finale Part II

Sister and I watched it 'together' (aka watching it at the same time and talking to eachother on the phone/laptop)... Gotta admit, I was way more excited to be 'watching tv together' than i was for the show itself. I mean, i love me some WinchesterLovin but last week's show left a little to be desired.

O.M.GSH.

Was NOT expecting Dad/Denny. Sister said, "Awwe...You're crying, huh?" Yes, sister. Yes I am.

Also was not expecting them to kill the yellow eyed bitch. Oh, and Dean, how 'bout you say bitch a few more times. Mama like.

Western Conference zzzzz....

After my annual lady-parts appointment today (which we all know and love loathe) I picked my perscriptions up at the Walgreens and headed out the ranch to mooch some food off my parents and watch at least part of the Toddball's game on the big tv. I also snagged a quick power nap during the first period. The begining of the game was that riveting....

I do tend to love exchanging texts with Hammer during the games. (And mom laughs every time she hears the Maple Leaf Mafia ringtone) After the 1st intermission interview with Jackman we had a little chat chit about how we were glad he didn't put his teeth in for national TV so his credibility wouldn't be hurt.

I'm glad she understands what I mean when I say that even without his partial and a nose full of snot, that I'd still cuddle up with Big Bert all night long (with Julie's permission of course).

I guess I should explain how I feel about this series since you're probably all asking yourself why I'd be cheering for the Arch Nemisis Red Wings. Ever since they acquired the Todd, it's been hard to hate them with the fire of ten thousand roasted marshmallows like I used to. And the ducks... I don't have anything against them per say, but Brian Burke is their GM - as well as an owner in the Chili-wiggity-wack Bruins - which means he tried to steal my team from me. BAD BURKEY, BAD! Therefore, I guess i'm rooting for the Wings in this Western Conference Snooze-fest.

That Ryan Getzlaf and his stupid pretty goals... Been making me swear since he was a wee tot playing for the Hitmen. I do, however, enjoy when they pan to him between plays - he likes to say that F word. A lot. My favorite lip-read quote of the night comes from the young Ryan, "Come ON! F**k me!" No thank you, but I'm sure there are a few ladies and germs that would be more than willing to take you up on that, sir.

Hammer and I also think that Bert and Fillpula need to be traded to teams we actually LIKE.

Supernatural Workplace....

SO after watching all 6 season 1 dvds in the past few days, I feel as though i AM a Winchester, (After all, Jared and I do share the same birthday...) but what happened about 50 minutes ago takes the cake.

I went into the kitchen to fill my overly large cup with water. I turned the under-cabinet lights off and drank a bunch of it there in the kitchen. Figuring I'd probably want some more by the time I was done for the day, I turned the water on, filled the glass and when I turned the faucet off, the lights flickered. That's right, I said it, the lights flickered.
About 10 minutes ago, I looked at the grandfather clock down the hall from my office. It stopped at just about the same time the lights flickered. The lights... that were OFF... Flickered.

What makes it even more creepy-mcscary is that I work in a funeral home that is about 100 years old. CREEEEEEPPPPY!!! :) (I'm glad I have salt and pepper in my desk!)

How to tell the Versus ads are American

The Canucks commercial states that the "Quest for th cup is on in the Pacific NW."
Um, Excuse me... Mr. Versus? Correct me if I'm wrong, but Vancouver is in Canada. It's the Pacific SOUTH West of that glorious nation. Unless we've annexed that part of BC... In which case, living in WA just got a LOT better.

Meme yoinked from Sportsquee

"If I were a hockey player" (to the tune of "If I were a Rich Man" from Fiddler, of course)

Team: New York Islanders

Uniform number: 38

Position: back-up Goalie

Nickname: McMer, McPhizzle, Irish Iguana, Red, Cinnamon-Sugar Tits

Dream linemates: I want The Dion and Brendan Witt in front of me. hard hitters and cute as buttons

Rounding out the PP: Joe Thornton, Mike Fisher and Todd Bertuzzi (if I need to explain those choices, you obviously know nothing about me)

Job: Bench warmer and water girl. Let's face it, even if Ricky gets another concussion, they'd still pull Dubie up and I'd still just be eyecandy on the bench.

Signature move: Making kissy faces and winking at opposing players to get them off their game. The occasional boob might have to be flashed for those pesky "focused" types.

Strengths: great glove hand (that's what he said...), firey red hair, big fat mouth that's usually spewing some sort of sarcastic commentary, bedroom eyes, killer salsa-making skills, I know my way around the kitchen, and I can shake my booty with the best of them.

Weaknesses: various food/latex allergies, healthy fear of male genitalia, tendency to get heat rash under the chest protector, trick knee, I'm really unlpeasent when hungry and tired.

Equipment: pads and blocker with more stars than Ricky D; stick all done up with pink tape; Pink and Orange painted Helmet - also laden with stars; purple neck protector; no turtlenecks. period.

Nemesis: Detroit Redwings; The Martins - both Brodeur and St. Louis; the creepy creepy Sedin Twins - I refuse to look at them from the bench for fear that they will use their powers of evil to make my breasts sag like a mother of 12.

Scandal involvment: being a lovechild of a young Mark Messier; demanding to dress in the same room as the boys; changing my hair color during playoffs; my unwillingness to divulge to the media whether or not i have a 'playoff beard'

Who I'd face in the Stanley Cup Finals: If I'm in net? The Blackhawks... I'll give me a fighting chance.

What I'd do with the Stanley Cup after our victory: Take it to an Ams game so that a certain someone could stop gloating, drink an enormous shirley temple out of it (lots of extra cherries) and then when my sugar crashed, sleep with it. Naked. Spooning my picks for linemates of course. (Well, at least DiPi, Fish, Joe and The Dion - something tells me I don't want to mess with Julie Bertuzzi)

Would the media love me or hate me: Love me. Really? Did you even have to ask? I'm a smooth talker, funny as hell and cute as a button. Plus, I make for some interesting highlights on Spotscenter.