Sunday, August 2, 2009

Maybe it's the heat...

Or the paint fumes?

After painting my bakers rack with my dad outside in 95 degree heat, maybe I'm hallucinating. Maybe I just wish I was. I'm pretty sure it's the second.

Somehow I knew - I think that's why I never asked. Optimism is one of my strong-suits, but also a downfall at times. Then again, maybe it means nothing (there I go, being all delusional and hopeful again). I guess time will tell, but I think maybe I should give up on this one... it has, after all, been how many years?

I'm a magnet for unavailable men - either literally, emotionally or both. And, as I've said before, I'm a chicken shit.

Maybe September will be different. Probably not. I want to move to the next level in my life. I think I'm ready for that, but obviously someone else doesn't. *looks up* le sigh.

A lesson learned years ago is something I'm trying to remind myself of and strive for: "Patience is a virtue to be practiced in our homes and daily lives, and we must strive to set examples for our companions."