Wednesday, June 27, 2007

Procrastination at it's best

Before I hunker down and get to work on my draft update, (shut up, i know i'm a slacker... a la chris farley in the Gap Girls sketch, "LAY OFF ME!") I thought I'd impart a little wisdom from one of my bestest dude friends, my dear Chad.

The talk of jubblies and shirtless men over at Sportsquee brought this to mind and made me chuckle, so I thought I'd pass it along.

This was about 4ish weeks ago and Chad, Chanel and I were sitting in a booth at a 24-hour restaurant discussing a boy I had recently taken a liking to who just happened to be a mutual friend of ours. He looked up from his plate-o-grease-soaked hashbrowns and said, "McPhizzle, How are you going to feel about dating a guy..." (insert me thinking, "with a kid" "with a drug problem" "with 4 testicles... wait, i didn't see 4...") "with bigger boobs than you?"

You see, the guy had a KILLER body - and seriously, his pecs rivaled my 34DD. Maybe it was funnier if you were there.... Yup, I think it was.

Tuesday, June 26, 2007

After the Rain....

(nothin like a little Nelson to start the day, hey?)

Ok, while starting this entry (no joke, as I finished typing that first line) which was going to chronicle the rest of my parents' adventure in DraftLand last weekend I got the call that a very close family friend who has been battling cancer for the last 15 or so years passed away, so I figured before I did anything I'd give her a little memorial shout-out.

Linda Slick, 59, passed away on June 24, 2007.
"Slick" for short, beloved history teacher, treasured friend and talented vocalist.

And Saver-from-the-Carnies. Saver-whatzit-whoozle? Let me explain...

The setting is 1988... It was a hot August day in Eastern Washington and Ma McPhizzle and her BFF took their combined 3 children to the Benton-Franklin County Fair. While walking through the carnival, a precocious and curious Mini McPhizzle wandered off. Slick, who worked with BFF, was also at the carnival and noticed a curly-haired nugget wandering around alone - to her shock, it was McPhizzle (who she always called "Merk" to ruffle the little girl's feathers). She grabbed her hand and started to look for Ma McP. For the rest of her life, every time Slick and Merk saw eachother, she would remind the red-head that she had saved her from being taken away with the Carnies and if she didn't behave herself, she'd take her back.

Love you, Linda. I promise I'll never run away at the Carnival again.

Friday, June 22, 2007

Draft day #1

Mom's called about 10 times so far, keeping me up to date on everything going on in Columbus.

  • they ran into Donny Nachs last night as they were leaving the restaurant. He proceeded to run his mouth until my mom started to point her acrylic tipped finger at him, to which he replied, "It's OK, Teri, I'm just pushing your buttons." (note to Schnacks: Don't do it. It bites you in the ass. Trust me.)
  • Saw Darrell May today and talked to him for a while.
  • Saw Darryl Porter and didn't fart in his general direction. I would've. Twice. After drinking REAL milk. (I'd suffer so he could suffer.)
  • They've been bar hopping b/c of a lack of places to sit and they can't get into the arena until 6:15 EST. So far they've been in the company of Ken Hitchcock, Pascal Leclaire and Rick Nash. That was all while I was on the phone with her.
  • She's a bit over-dressed, I guess. Oh well, I'd rather be the cute one than the scuzzy one... well, most of the time.
  • Thomas Hickey goes at #4. Mom called me, "CAN YOU FREAKIN BELIEVE THAT?! THAT T-BIRD!" Ma, he was good.
  • Text from Hammer when Zach Hamill went at #8 "Well good. No reason to start liking Boston."

I'm sure I'll be updating this later....

Thursday, June 21, 2007

Starbucks, Latex and Contracts

Sounds kinda kinky, no?

Really, though, I'm just loopy from an allergic reaction from sleeping in a room at my parents' house painted with latex paint. McPhizzle = Allergic to Latex. McPhizzle = Loopy and trying to correct it with an Iced Venti Sugar-Free Carmel Soy Latté. (and hoping i don't turn into a jittery mess... let's face it, i'm already there.)

Dropped Ma & Pa off at the airport this morning at 4:57. I didn't know my clock had more than one of those, honestly. Told them that if they saw "Uncle Wayne" or "Uncle Mario" in Columbus to give them a hug for me and to cheer real loud for me if when the Big Guy gets drafted.

Looks like my Sharkies aren't planning on re-signing Scott Tarz-Hannan. They signed Craig Rivet to a 4 year deal at $14 mil ($3.5 a year). Buzz is he'll go to VAN or LA... and the Sharkies will try to bring in someone else.

Looking forward to next season, I'm really hoping to see Devin Setoguchi have a good camp. Not only did he have 65 points for PG this year in 55 regular season games (21 in 15 playoff games) but has a bit of a mean-streak as well. Plus, his Dad and Sister (who, btw, is GORGEOUS) were amazingly generous when the Broseph got traded to Saskatoon (and then immediately to Lethbridge) and his stuff was pretty much abandoned by the Blades' bus - which if I remember correctly, caught on fire later that season in Cranbrook. If I'm right, Karma's a bitch. Edit: Ok, so I was wrong... It was just a couple years ago and it was the Regina bus at SaskPlace... I knew Megan was there and smelled the fire, I just thought it was when she was working for the Ice, my bad.

It'll be interesting to see what happens in the draft this weekend....

Wednesday, June 13, 2007

By the beard of Zeus!!!

Mo and I were talking a few weeks ago about our beloved Orlando and some of our favourite places to visit or drive by while sipping on a slurpee, blasting the techno-filled *NSYNC European Debut CD and trying to keep our oh so loverly naturally curly hair under control in the unbearable Central Florida humidity. One of those places we discussed is the Ye Olde TransCon Building, where the five lovable lads of one of the aforementioned power-pop juggernaut spent hours upon hours in the un-airconditioned hell, learning how to make young women drop their panties.

Of course, through the years we've grown to hate what that building stands for - Lou Pearlman. The man who created financed the fledgeling vocal group and stole a crapload of their money. (Along with the BSB, but he really did put them together... whatever...)

Well, the Fat Bastard is finally reaping all that he sowed, and that karma is a BITCH. An article on the front page of Yahoo details the bankruptcy auction of all of the personal belongings that went "bye bye bye" on Tuesday. He hasn't been seen or heard from in months, doesn't have an attorney retained in either his bankruptcy or any of the other suits against him (conning people into fraudulent investments to cover his debts and losses in other companies and banks after more than $100 million).

The real eye-catcher in the article was this little tidbit:
"A man wearing a Pittsburgh Steelers shirt paid $2,200 for a wall hanging commemorating the Backstreet Boys selling 7 million copies. He declined to be interviewed, but said he was still deciding whether to sell it."


Photo Courtesy of
Photo courtesy of

I'm just saying...

Tuesday, June 12, 2007


x-posted from the Maple Leaf Mafia blog

from this article, titled "Czechs, Slovaks migrate to North American juniors," on

"Moving from the Czech Republic to Slovakia, you will find a similar outlook for
this year’s draft. A significant percentage of Slovakian Central Scouting-rated
players are on the North American side and there are no Slovaks ranked among the
top 25 European skaters. Among Slovaks playing in the CHL, Sudbury Wolves winger Patrik Lusnak is ranked 120th on the North American list,
huge Tri-City
Americans defenseman Juraj Valach is 125th
, Everett Silvertips center Lukas Vartovnik ranks 180th and Peterborough Petes right winger Branislav Rehus
finished 191st."

more press for the big guy!

Hopefully he's happy with where he gets drafted after falling in the 2nd ranking. At least he'll have two crazy fans in the building to scream like the proud hockey nuts they are when his name is called... He'll probably be able to hear them all the way in Slovakia.

Monday, June 11, 2007


NO new cases over the weekend and ALL of my paperwork done for May, so what is there to do? Surf the Interweb.

I found the COOLEST website in the free world. It is dedicated to, all about and full of juicy bits of yay-ness of the best cartoon ever made about a pink-haired rock-star, Jem.

In light of all the crap I downloaded from there, I have updated my Myspace page for the summer to reflect my new alter-ego, Jem. I'm thinking possibly a Jem costume for Haloween? Could be Truly, truly, truly outrageous... I'm just saying....

Friday, June 8, 2007

End of the Season...

As I sit in my office, listening to my iPod, Justin, Chris, Joey, Lance(ten) and JC are reminding me that the hockey season is, in fact, "Gone."

While I'm trying my best to "be a man and be strong, the truth remains" that I'm totally bummed.

Jordi has asked us all at HLOG to do a little analysis of our teams' season and the UFA's... I don't know if I can do that yet - that makes it official that it's *gulp* the off-season.

I hung out with my little buddy LilRed#1 at the Volunteer Picnic last night. She applied for a job with the Ams Office. She said that her mom had suggested that if she got the job she'd be able to ask one of the players to Homecoming if it wasn't on a game night and that she replied, "From what I've heard and what Boogie said to LilRed#2, that's not something I want to even consider." I felt like a proud Mama! She said she'd learned from my mistakes... GOOD! I'm glad all the preaching I did in Sunday School and on the concourse actually sank in. Stay a fan, babygirl, stay a fan.

On the LilRed topic, #1 said #2 was dealing with MattyGate pretty well... Poor thing... I remember The Great Trade of 2002 and the ickiness I felt for weeks. Maybe I'll send her a sympathy card or bring her cupcakes and a mix cd or something. Rainbow Chip Frosting and peppy pop songs cure EVERYTHING.

Hammer posted an article from today over at the Maple Leaf Mafia blog about the asshat #1 mentioned. It still baffles me that with how he played this season that he got a contract. He's got great speed and has flashes of brilliance with the puck, but those flashes were few and far-between. Maybe now that he's actually going to have to fight for a place on the roster (instead of being handed the roll of the enforcer on a silver platter) he'll be more consistant. If he hadn't have been completely inappropriate with one of my students, I might've wished him the best.

Wow... already 1340... day is going fast... that's good times - unless my body doesn't stop being angry with me about my latté splurge before I need to hit the road...

Thursday, June 7, 2007

Sure! Pile it on! I can take it...

I can't believe I forgot.

Tonight, I will be face-to-face with TraderBob at the Thank You Picnic for the Ams.

I've got a crapton to do before I can leave on my Emerald City Excursion, but am I going to pass up the chance for free food and possibly chatting with Stu Barnes and Olie Kolzig? Negatory. No woman in their right mind would.

Maybe I'll jut cross vacuuming off my list... humph.

What the FLINK?!

What did I say, yesterday?! NO MORE MOVES THIS WEEK!

I think Burke winning the cup has gone to TraderBob's noggin and made him all kinds of nutterhausen. He'd better have a few tricks up his sleeve this season b/c right now, I'm thinking it looks kind of bleak.

Dan Mulhausen Tri-City Americans

KENNEWICK, WA - Today, Tri-City Americans general manager Bob Tory announced that the hockey club has traded 19-year-old defenseman Zach Sim to the Medicine Hat Tigers for a 5th round draft pick in the 2009 WHL Bantam Draft.

Sim, listed at 5'11" 186 lbs, came to the Americans after spending two partial seasons with the Everett Silvertips organization. The Saskatoon, SK-native played 43 games for Tri-City in the 2006-07 season. He totaled six goals, 12 points and 32 penalty minutes, while recording a +10 rating, all of which were career-bests.

"Zach came in and helped our team a lot last year," said Tory. "However, with seven returning defensemen, I felt we needed to make room on our depth chart. We wish Zach all the best in Medicine Hat."

grrr..... OK! BOB! that was the last one! My tiny ticker can't take much more.

Wednesday, June 6, 2007

a little pick-me-up

My new favorite commercial

oddly enough I bought a diet pepsi tonight sensing the outcome of the hockey season. Isn't it ironic? Don't ya think?

(PS i think Ryan Reynolds stole Alanis' Anthem Mojo. If I sing at an Ams game next year and they don't win, We'll know that [current flame] stole mine.)

Sometimes we all hate Dylan. He's probably a Ducks fan.

Maybe my mocking quacks were taken as encouragement..

Went to the grocery store after work. Figured that I wasn't going to want to eat a bowl of flour or sugar for dinner. Hammer and I chatted as I was waiting on line to pay, talking about how NBC was completely in LURVE wtih the Ducks, telling the audience pretty much to tune in 3hours later when the Quacks were lifting the cup. Hammer also noted that Pierre was giving handjobs to the Quacks bench between plays. I believe it.

Blog starting late tonight as I may or may not have had to be my own trainer after my thumb was attacked by a knife. There was a lot of blood lost, but I believe we have it stopped and I'll make a full recovery. Of course in the press release we'll just state that it's a hand injury and list me as day-to-day.

1st intermission... Pierre McDouche, who is obviously in love with (my husband) Mike Fisher, interviews him yet again. Hammer comments that we are going to have beautiful children and I inform her of McDouche's intentions to break up our happy home. Hammer's response was, "Pierre is an Asshat. Just incase you didn't know."
"Oh, I totally know, that's why I'm not worried about him stealing my man."

I join you just as Alfredsson scores a goal, making it 1-2... *sigh* That one was touched by an angel... a reward for (my husband)'s good behaviour.

4:16 EFF! Quacks score yet again. Well, knda... that one was scored by Phillips. Damn. It's Schmitty all over again. Lonliest man in Anaheim = Chris Phillips.

3:14 Schubert with the elbow. Way to give up, Schubert. like I just said to Hammer when she commented that the sens may have just effed themselves, "Yup, right in the pooper."

2:22 Alfie looks up at the clock and thinks, "222! Make a wish! I wish for a short-handed goal" It works.

1:32 Hopes up... and just as quickly, back down. The quack's goal goes off of Volchenkov and his shin pads. Neighbor from downstairs has probably never heard the F word screamed so loud so many times from a woman who is home all alone.

19:09 (my husband) roughs up Moen on the boards behind Emery. Me gusta.

16:17 Emery has to save The Keeper of the Brows Wade Redden's bacon. What did Emery do to all these guys? And why are (my husband) Fisher and Alfredsson the only teammates to forgive him.

Goal #5 by the quacks. There's nothing left to say.

14:12 Schubert in the box AGAIN. I'm sick to my stomach.

12:37 O. M. G. Vermette Penalty Shot. How would one say "fuck" in french? Hammer's answer, "fucque yeaux"

7:59 I don't think I've ever wanted to cry when the cup was about to be awarded before. Even in '99 I had the hope all the way up to the winning 'goal.' This is a strange feeling.

7:33 Volchenov takes a penalty. (my husband) is shown wiping his brow. The pain is showing in his eyes already. You have NOTHING to be ashamed about, you beautiful beautiful man.

4:07 Doc says that us Sens fans can take pride in the fact that they had a great year. They really did. Maybe Elgin was their good luck charm...

3:00 Nail. In. Coffin. I stopped the bleeding on my thumb, I can't stop the bleeding in the game. I'm only one nurse.

1:30 Well, if it does end up being Teemu Lightyear's last game, I guess I can't be THAT upset.

I swear to Grezky, if I hear the crowd start to chant, "We will, we will, QUACK YOU!" I will jump off of my veranda, landing face-first on Neighbor's hibachi.

With about 5 mintues left in the game, Hammer asked all of the Maple Leaf Mafia who we thought would win the Conn Smythe... I won the prize for correctly predicting Salt&Pepper Neidermeyer. What's the prize, you may ask? I get to shave his beard.

Buzz hoisting the trophy made me a little misty. I think they should skate it around the rink in the Flying V.

Bryan Burke hoisting the cup. *vomit*

Turns out "I'm Lauren's Bitch" Pronger separated his shoulder in the 1st and kept popping it back in, much like Landon Jones did the whole 2005-2006 WHL season. Then his keeper shows up on the ice with the little Pronger-nuggets and the interview comes to a hault. Hmm.. Imagine that.

The brothers Neidermeyer. That kind of was a tender moment. Brothers that look that much alike with a beard creep me out, though.

I need to put on my Oilers windshirt on and go on a walk to clear my head. Storm Schmorm, I need some fresh air.


Ams Trade Mike Kaye to Saskatoon

Mike (left) and Colten wont be able to lean on eachother to keep their heads out of the mud this season.

Ok, TraderBob. I'm for real here. Can't you let the wound of MattyGate at least scab over before you go and trade Mike Kaye?! So he was kind of a band-aid, whatever... he was a playmaker! "Kaye to Yellowhorn and SCORE!" we like that combo. A lot. Especially with that result.

So Overage situation is all but solved, Matty wont get caught in the Overage Gap and end up playing back in the home province like Cole did last year and Mike will be able to live at home with Mom, Dad and his sisters. But what about US?!

I'm declaring right now that TraderBob can make no more moves this week. Also, that the Ottawa Senators HAVE to all play like (my husband) Mike Fisher tonight. That's all there is to it.

In the immortal words of Celine Dion, "Nothing's broken but my heart."

McPhizzle has spoken.

Getting misty over here.

Riding his trusty steed all the way to Edmonton
How could you NOT love this guy?

From the paper today:

"Matt Swaby had a feeling for some time that he would be one of the players the Tri-City Americans put up for grabs for Tuesday's Edmonton Oil Kings expansion draft.

The veteran defenseman just hoped the Oil Kings would not take him.

Swaby was one of several players chosen throughout the WHL by the Oil Kings to create a roster for the upcoming season.

"It was in the back of my mind," said Swaby, who played his entire WHL career with the Americans. "It was a surprise. I had a lot of messages on my phone and I didn't know what was going on. I wanted to come back, but things change.

"I'd like to thank the team for the opportunity they gave me and the fans for standing behind me. I'm going to miss them."
... "

Oh! Little Matty! We'll miss you, too.

They also took our little Archie from the Wiggity Wack. I just hope they come down here this season... We had the big Eastern Swing last year, so you'd think so, right? Right? :o(

More coverage of MattyGate (and pictorial tributes) located at the Maple Leaf Mafia blog.

Tuesday, June 5, 2007

I'm moving to Edmonton.

Edmonton, AB has been given a franchise in the WHL, the Oil Kings. They will start their inagural season this upcoming September.

The expansion draft was held today. Teams who had not made a previous deal with Edmonton had two options: a team can protect 15 players aged 16-19 and one 20 year old, or protect 13 players aged 16-19 and three 20-year-olds. Edmonton was not able to take any player who was part of the 2007 WHL bantam draft.

One player. One. Out of our roster AND prospects, not including the protected list. Who knows what ever goes on in TraderBob's bald noggin, but he failed to protect our most veteran Dman and who undoubtedly would've been the heart and soul of the team next year. Matt Swaby is now an Oil King.

I am devistated. Matty's been here since before he was a rookie. He was at Training Camp the year Broseph got into his minor traffic infraction and shoved that cocky kid (name is escapting me....) against the wall of Rink B. Always ready with a big hug and an even bigger smile. More than willing to hang out with the tots at the skates and the fans at events. Heck, anyone who calls my mother "the sweetest woman in the world" and lets me call him Matty in front of everyone is a good kid in my book. And who is going to wear the full blue-jays uniform at the softball game/bbq this year?!

Bye, bye, Matty. We'll miss your flowing curls and heart-warming smile. Don't worry, there will be a large bus bag for you when you come to visit. :o(

Mattycakes and McPhizzle

*Le Sigh* Sens style.

Last night's game... Where to start?

(my husband) Mike Fisher - I now want to clone him, not only for myself but for the whole freaking Sens team. If it was me, I wouldn't be speaking to any of my teammates - but we all know that since it is Mike, He's in there encouraging (and praying for) every single one of them. I love that man.

Ray Muther Flinking Emery - Floppin like a fish is good... when it works... I'm assuming he's asking his Dmen if they plan on making the trip to Anaheim. Maybe even enticing them with the fact that Honda Center is located relatively close to (the holiest of all places) Disneyland.

Don Cherry - The suit was toned down, yet didn't make him look like any less of a windbag. While I respect the fact that he's a National Treasure in (the Homeland) Canada, he always annoys the crap out of me. That was, until he called MamaBear Brett Hull out about getting off Alfredsson's case on the GOAL that he scored on account of the "goal" Brett "scored" in 1999.

Hammer & McP via text on Don Cherry:
Hammer: HA! Don inviting himself back! I love it!
McP: Hahaha! NBC is shitting themselves!
Hammer: I bet they had more viewers, though. Who doesn't love Don Cherry? Ok, lots of people, but they still watch him to see what shit comes out of his yapper. :)
McP: Either that or they were wondering what in the hell Colonel Sanders has to do with Hockey.
Hammer: LOL! Exactly!

The game did bring a tender moment to Casa de McPhizzle, however. Roomie came in for the final minutes of the game. "Oh good lord! This is intense!"
"Now you know why I love hockey."
"Can we hold hands the rest of the game?"
"I thought you'd never ask."

Tender moment ended at the buzzer when I, once again, chased her from my room by dropping the Eff Sharp pretty loudly.

Sunday, June 3, 2007

Game 3 jogging blog

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Todd Beartuzzi and the Good Luck bear Megan sent me with the lucky CAN penny in his pocket rooting the Sens on in my absence.
Disclaimer: (Mostly to calm Roomie's fears)
I promise I'm not Teddy-obsessed. They were gifts.

After spending all day boating on the mighty Columbia River in the 100 degree (38*C for my metric friends) heat, I decided that the running blog would become a slow jog tonight. I listened to the game on the satelite radio on the boat and am now tucked securely into my bed, watching the DVR'd action.

NHL on NBC... Papa Clement, Mamabear Brett Hull and little Ray Ferraro. It's a damn good thing i like Papa bear and baby bear, because Mamabear makes me want to light my face on fire.

Pierre McGuire interviews (Margee's beloved) Heatley. He can hardly hear the bald man speak over the crowd love. I'd give my little brother's right testicle to be there. What?! He only needs one... and I'm sure his wife wouldn't mind... much...

As a vocalist, and an anthem singer, there's nothing quite like the announcer reminding you that MILLIONS of people are watching/listening/waiting for you to screw up. He did a BEAUTIFUL job on the Star Spangled Banner. It's one of the hardest songs to sing, but he did it at a great tempo and what a moving vibrato! .... And O Canada, is there a more beautiful song than that, the anthem of the Homeland? I submit that there is not.

20:00 Neil and Moen start the game off right. LOVE IT!

19:38 I still can't get over how fast these teams are when they're both at the top of their games and the height of their emotions.

17:58 Emery makes that look so simple. "No biggie, you guys. I do this every day."

16:09 And the first penalty of the game goes to..... The Keeper of the Brows, Wade Redden!

14:21 And the first goal of the game goes to...... The Anaheim Ducks? Traps McDonald? le sigh.

3:50 OTTAWA SCORES!!!! Baby Hailey's Toothless Daddy scores for the Sens. She's their new good luck charm.

1:03... name that squirt. Baby Mario. Sans Mullet.

(insert McPhizzle snoring here... Cut to 8:51PM PST on 03 JUN. Spent the day with Ma and Pa, watching the BEST LONGEST MOVIE EVER, POTC:3 and avoiding anything hockey I could as to not spoil any more of the visual action than nesseccary.)

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Mom sent me home with a "Sens Rose" from the rose bush that is taking over the world. It's proudly displayed in my washroom.

1st Intermission. The Golden Child speaks. hard to believe that he's a mite under 20. What was I doing at that age? I was finishing my 2nd year of College and working at Victoria's Secret. That's the same as being the Captain of an NHL team, the league's leading scorer and up for 2 more awards, right?

"There he is, in the drapery, The legend, Don Cherry." OH Papa Clement, how I love thee. I don't know if mainstream America is ready for Don Cherry. I guess we'll find out on Monday when he joins in the NHL on NBC fun!

19:00 Strong start for Ottawa. I'm liking the way this is starting, boys. You're sparking McPhizzle's little heart.

17:56 Spezza and Pahlsson mugging it a little on the boards. You get 'im, Jason! Ooh.. the Tearaway jersey. Hammer's text, "He should just take it all off" makes a lot more sense now.

16:43 McAmmond getting that shot ahead was beauty

16:21 Jersey sharing? I wonder if he got to pick whose sweater he wanted. Or if they asked Eaves. i can see it now, just like sisters, "COACH! he took my jersey and didn't even ASK!!! You love Jason more! I knew it!"

14:40 Perry scores on a Phillips turn over. Sens didn't even realize it had gone in, they're still banging at it.

14:13 Shot from the point gets in past Giguere b/c the Quacks only had 4 skaters on the ice. Way to take advantage of that Volchenkov!

12:22 Getzlaf gets that goal back. Damnit.

10:20 Quick reaction by Giggy to direct the puck into the mesh so he could get a sip of water from his straw.

9:53 Giggy talking about Pronger. "It's nice to have him around." Of course it is. It's always better to have for you rather than against you - no one likes being elbowed in the head.

9:25 McAmmond lost showdown in practice and is now the Juice Boy. Gotta love Mike Comrie giving that bit of info to the media. :)

4:54 Are they really playing circus music behind Speedy!Spezza? Oh, NBC... *sigh*

4:21 The parade to the Penalty box continues as the puck ALMOST goes in the net... Giggy = glad there ar only 4 minutes that he has to stay in net with that brick in his hockey underwear.

3:46 Goal...??? Let's review... Alffie's trying to stop? OH yes. That would be a GOAL.

1:26 Juice boy scores!!! Well, ok, so it was Pronger, but they can't really announce that. Karma's a bitch, ain't it?

00:00 Pierre McGuire interviews (my husband) Mike Fisher. The little bruise under his left eye just adds to the love.

2nd Intermission.
MamaBear Hull is back. "That's a bad goal," he says about the Volchenkov goal. No, that was good, the Quacks just can't count - flippers don't work as well for that as fingers and toes do.

Now he's talking about the Alfredsson goal. SHUTUPSHUTUPSHUTUP! I can handle Papa Clement and Lil Ferraro, but not "Hully." "This is the Stanley cup finals!" Oh yeah? So was the 'goal' you scored in '99, asshat.

19:24 Schaeffer on the partial break from (my husband) Fisher. Again, a good start. I dig it.

17:57 Pronger lays out McAmmond with an elbow to the face and he hit his head on the ice and then on the boards. Head injuries are scary stuff, skippy. You never want to see someone on the ice like that, no matter which side they're on. NO PENALTY?! Good grief. Ok, so I know he's suspended (text from Hammer earlier today), but COME on.

17:05 Emotions are running high and Ryan Getzlaf tries to make out with (my husband) Mike Fisher, and like the gentleman he is, Mike refuses. Of course Ryan's feelings of frustration after the rejection are to be expected, but is swearing at the nice man who held back when he could've mangled your face really neccessary, Getzy? No, no it's not.

OMGSh! BABY EMERY with the BOXING GLOVES?! I want 3.

15:51 Moen tries to break and Emery flops like the miraculous fish he is to make the save. LURVE. GOALIES.

14:17 May takes a penalty. Great discipline, Quacks.

11:38 Volchenkov with number two on the evening and Goalie Quack gets a little refreshment from his straw.

10:00 This is about the time I got home and turned the game on as I was getting ready to go out to Blinky's show...

8:55 Getzlaf Loves the box AND the "F" word. I think SOMEONE has some pent-up anger about his thinning hair. Displacement isn't healthy, Ryan.

8:01 Has Teemu Lightyear been on the ice at all before now? Or was he hanging out with Woody in the locker room? What a non-presence tonight.

5:25 "I'm Lauren's Bitch" Pronger sits on the bench, showing off that gap-toothed grin. McPhizzle's nostrils flare. Not attractive, but true.

4:31 Traps McDonald revisits the 'bad boy box' for a time out because his muscular shoulders made Emery lose an edge right outside the crease. I should check the scoresheet to see if he got 2:00 for Excessive Creatine.

Well, Sens fans, they're back in it. We'll be back tomorrow night, same bat time, same bat channel.

Friday, June 1, 2007

Calder Cup Game 1

WOOHOO!!! Hamilton Bulldogs win it 4-0! Our little Pricey faced and saved 46 shots. FORTY-SIX SHOTS. Of course, he was the First Star. Someone give that kid a cookie. A big one. Better yet, Carey, I'm sending you a whole friggin pan of brownies. Wait a minute... he's in Canada - I'm sending him a bottle of Jack.

It's been quite a while since we've had one of our boys do so well so fresh out of our system. *sniff sniff* look how much he's grown!!!

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2003-2004 season
3rd Star after winning game against the Brandon Wheatkings
( picture of a picture - I knew I'd regret getting rid of my scanner... )


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Paternity is a foul word in the locker room of any sport, but today, ladies and germs, (much like every day) I'm talking about hockey. It has been scientifically proven that hockey players make the best lovers due to their conditioning and the core strength it takes to play the sport on skates. As we all know, most hockey players take full advantage of the vagina that is being thrown at them from every direction - and really? Who can blame them - well, the young, unmarried players, at least...

I remember a couple times being at the dinner table with my brother and his teammates and saying that puckbunnyX was pregnant - someone's eyes would resemble that of a deer in headlights until I soothed their fear by saying, "No, it's her boyfriend's." Their reaction is perfectly justified. In my town alone we have at least 4 children of pro-hockey players that were concieved while those men were playing juniors (note: that figure doesn't include the 2 NHLers that live here in the off-season with their families).

That all being said, I've had some questions about my reference in my Game 2 entry, where Ma McP and I both referenced my dad. I guess I should give a brief explaination. (WARNING: Daddy issues ahead)

Half of my DNA has never really been a part of my life. Ma McP and I left him when I was a wee tot b/c of substance abuse problems and heck, if she could support the 3 of us, she could sure as shootin' support 2. Both mine and Sister's mom remarried and we have great Step-dads...

So as we (Sister and I) were watching the 2004 All-Star game, we realized that Marky-Mark Messier was old enough to be our father. We also realized that if our dad wasn't going to sack up and be part of our lives, we might as well claim someone that we actually liked and had a REASON to be across the country. Therefore, from that moment on, we claimed Mr. Mark Messier as our (fake)father.

Both of our moms are ok with it, since they don't like our real dad, anyway. I'm sure Mark would be pretty creeped out - as I'm sure anyone who didn't have a sense of humor would be as they read this. However, if you're reading this, Mr. Messier, it really is meant as an honour to you and a HUGE family joke. A father is someone who you can admire and look up to, laugh at their lame jokes and listen to the stories of when he was young and learn from their mistakes. Since we don't have one like that, we take those things from you. Oh, and don't worry, we're both intellegent, beautiful, young women with educations and jobs.